The Engineer's Material Selection Flowchart

Engineers really out here making their robots look as threatening as possible and then acting shocked when everyone assumes they're building Skynet! 😂 It's like putting shark fins on a dolphin and wondering why people are running out of the water. We could make robot eyes ANY color—blue for calming, green for eco-friendly—but nope! Gotta go with that classic "I'm about to terminate humanity" red glow. It's basically the engineering equivalent of writing "definitely not evil" on the robot in Comic Sans. Pure design genius!

Engineers everywhere just felt a disturbance in the Force. Using π = 5? That's like saying water isn't wet or gravity is just a suggestion. Some poor mathematician is hyperventilating into a paper bag right now. The real comedy here is that someone actually typed this with a straight face, probably the same person who rounds 9.8 m/s² to "about 10" and thinks significant figures are just a suggestion. If you ever want to torture a physics professor, just show them this problem and watch their soul leave their body.

Someone finally ran computational fluid dynamics simulations on a cow. Funding well spent. The colored visualization shows airflow patterns around bovine bodies, proving that cows are, in fact, aerodynamically viable. Next grant proposal: determining the terminal velocity of a Holstein. Graduate students everywhere just found their dissertation topic.

Engineers see a simple mechanical part. Machinists and QA see a nightmare of geometric dimensioning and tolerancing symbols that might as well be ancient hieroglyphics. Nothing says "I hate you" quite like an engineer adding a flatness tolerance of 0.013mm to a surface that will never touch anything. The real engineering challenge is finding a machinist who won't plot your murder after seeing those GD&T callouts.

The irony is absolutely delicious here! Boeing's recruitment slide proudly declares "Never compromising on safety or quality" while showing an engineer inspecting what appears to be a structural component... with a flashlight. Because nothing says "rigorous aerospace engineering standards" like squinting at critical aircraft parts with a pocket light! This is basically the aviation equivalent of a surgeon saying "I'll just eyeball it" before an operation. Next-level quality assurance process: if you can't see the cracks with a flashlight, they probably don't exist, right? Safety first... or whenever the proper inspection equipment arrives!

Oh sweet mother of mathematical mayhem! The calculation clearly shows 51 kPa, but the answer is somehow (C) 50 kPa?! That's like saying 2+2=3.9 and calling it close enough! 🤯 This is the engineering equivalent of rounding π to 3 and hoping your bridge doesn't collapse. That 1 kPa difference might seem trivial until your building starts doing the cha-cha slide during an earthquake! No wonder that poor creature at the bottom looks traumatized. Its engineering soul has been crushed harder than the soil under inadequate footing!