I Pledge Allegiance To The Builder

That face when your family thinks your mechanical engineering degree means you're basically a car mechanic. Studying fluid dynamics doesn't mean I know why your Toyota is making that weird noise! Mechanical engineers learn about thermodynamics and stress analysis, not how to unclog your brother-in-law's carburetor. Next time someone asks me to fix their transmission, I'm going to hand them my textbook on differential equations and say "chapter 7 should help."

Nuclear engineers getting existential about H₂O! Without water to slow down those hyperactive neutrons, our reactors would be like teenagers without WiFi—completely uncontrollable! Water is basically the bouncer at neutron club, telling those zippy particles to "chill out, bro." Next time you drink water, remember you're sipping on what keeps nuclear reactors from throwing temper tantrums. Truly the unsung hero of fission!

Engineering students caught in a perpetual state of existential crisis while the business majors frolic through college with their 3-page papers and PowerPoint presentations. That moment when you realize differential equations and thermodynamics weren't part of the campus tour! Meanwhile, engineering students are calculating the precise angle at which their GPA is plummeting and the exact force required to fling their textbooks into the sun. The distracted boyfriend meme perfectly captures the harsh reality that hits around midterms when you're surrounded by stress-free business majors planning their next networking happy hour while you're contemplating if you can derive happiness from a boundary value problem.

The ultimate physics flex isn't wearing equations on your T-shirt—it's throwing up gang signs with the right-hand rule. That hand gesture isn't random; it's the sacred technique physicists use to determine the direction of vectors in electromagnetism and mechanics. Thumb = velocity (V), index finger = magnetic field (B), middle finger = force (F). Next time someone asks what you do for a living, just flash this sign and watch them either back away slowly or propose marriage on the spot. Separating the physics elite from the mere mortals since Fleming invented it in 1885.

The engineering hierarchy has evolved beyond mere dress codes! While junior devs stress about looking professional, senior engineers have ascended to a plane where their value is measured in code, not clothes. The contrast is perfect—a person in a bright orange suit strutting confidently through a humble environment, embodying that special senior engineer energy that screams "I've fixed too many production bugs at 3 AM to care about your dress code policy." In tech, the more essential you become, the more your wardrobe can resemble a "just rolled out of bed" aesthetic. It's the ultimate power move in Silicon Valley: dressing down while your value goes up!

The scientific blame game continues! While physicists, mathematicians, and chemists have somehow managed to sweep their questionable historical decisions under the rug, the social sciences and biology get thrown under the microscope for everything! And now genetic engineering joins the "please explain yourself" club. It's like the hard sciences are that one friend who never gets caught for anything while biology and medicine are constantly explaining why they're late to dinner. "Sure, nuclear weapons were fine, but HOW DARE YOU modify that corn?!" *twirls test tube dramatically*