Duh. Everyone Knows Watt's Law...

Spent four years calculating stress tensors only to discover your bank account has more stress than your engineering projects! That moment when you realize those differential equations weren't preparing you to differentiate between yacht models but between ramen flavors instead. The great engineering paradox: can build bridges that support thousands of tons but can't support a mortgage in a decent neighborhood. Turns out those "free body diagrams" were just foreshadowing your budget after student loans!

Behold the sacred translation guide for the mysterious species known as engineers ! What normal humans call "I hit it and it worked," engineers dignify as "percussive maintenance." That's just fancy talk for "I smacked it real good!" The classic "turn it off and on again" becomes the impressively technical "cycle power to the panel." And my personal favorite—"I forgot to plug it in" transforms into "high impedance air-gap." Because why admit you're forgetful when you can sound like you've mastered quantum physics? Engineers don't just get electrocuted—they experience "organic grounding." They don't melt things—those things undergo "thermal reconfiguration." And explosions? Please, that's "kinetic disassembly," thank you very much! This shirt is basically the Rosetta Stone for understanding why your engineer friend can't just say "it's broken" like a normal person!

The punchline here is purely electrical. That's a resistor lying on what appears to be a beach, saying "Sorry, I couldn't resist..." It's basically a component that had one job—to resist electrical current—and it failed spectacularly at its sole purpose. Classic component identity crisis. Engineers everywhere are silently nodding while adjusting their glasses.

These graphs are the most scientifically accurate representation of college majors ever created! Liberal Arts: living the dream until graduation hits like a meteor extinction event. Medicine: suffering through the nine circles of med school hell before finally making enough money to pay off those student loans in your 50s. And Engineering? Just flatline suffering before and after graduation, but hey, at least the paycheck makes the existential dread tolerable! The universal constant across all STEM fields is that brief moment where you question all your life choices and wonder if you should've just opened that beachside coconut stand instead.

Breaking news: Scientists shocked to discover that light-speed laser travels at... the speed of light! 🤯 Next up: Water confirmed wet and fire still hot. The headline about a "world-leading laser beam that travels at speed of light" is like bragging your calculator can do math. ALL lasers travel at light speed—it's literally in the name (Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation). That's like advertising a "revolutionary new car with wheels" or a "groundbreaking fish that can swim." Military tech is cool and all, but maybe save the breathless headlines for when the laser can break the laws of physics instead of just... following them perfectly.

The eternal academic pipeline, illustrated with bovine precision! Engineering students think they're escaping the herd, only to discover they've traded one Excel prison for another. The real engineering degree should come with a warning label: "Side effects include becoming your department's unofficial spreadsheet wizard." Meanwhile, accounting students at least had the decency to embrace their spreadsheet destiny from day one. Both paths lead to the same corporate pasture – just with different calculators.