Behold the mythical creature of analytical chemistry labs everywhere! Column chromatography—the technique where you separate compounds by letting them travel through a stationary phase at different speeds—has created its own subspecies of scientist: the obsessed "Coloomner." What we're witnessing is the lab equivalent of a gym bro, but instead of protein shakes, it's chloroform fumes. That right arm isn't from lifting weights—it's from cranking that column stopcock for hours on end, collecting fraction after fraction while muttering "just one more pure compound" under their breath. The truly magnificent part? Despite purifying 1000+ compounds, our hero has no idea what they actually are. Who needs structural analysis when you can just admire those beautiful colored bands separating down your silica gel column? Recrystallization? That's for chemists who actually want to finish their PhD this decade.