Honey Never Spoils Because... It Never Spoils

The first "fact" is literally just saying honey doesn't go bad because... honey doesn't go bad. Revolutionary science right there! Next they'll tell us water is wet because it's not dry.

That ancient Egyptian honey discovery is actually legit though - archaeologists found 3,000-year-old honey that was still perfectly edible. Basically, honey's low moisture content and high acidity create an environment where bacteria can't survive. It's nature's immortal food, outlasting entire civilizations while sitting in a tomb.

The rest of these "fascinating facts" probably follow the same pattern of circular reasoning. Science communication at its finest!