Three Brilliant Minds, Three Different Takes On Time

Behold! The cosmic comedy of precision! Someone buys 0.5m³ of interstellar vacuum (already a ridiculous concept) only to find it's expanded to 0.50000000000392m³ the next day. That's a change of 0.000000000784% - practically NOTHING in everyday terms, but enough to make a physicist have an existential crisis! The punchline about "combating inflation" is a brilliant double entendre - referring to both cosmic inflation (the expansion of space itself) and economic inflation. It's like buying nothing and still getting ripped off by the universe's fine print! *cackles maniacally while adjusting safety goggles*

The eternal struggle of science meme attribution! While amateurs simply repost content, true intellectuals steal with professional courtesy . It's like academic publishing, but with fewer citations and more Futurama reaction images. The "we are not the same" energy perfectly captures that special breed of content thief who thinks tagging the original creator somehow makes the plagiarism sophisticated. Conservation of credit is apparently not a fundamental law of physics on social media.

That moment when you're the only one who remembers plasma exists! While teachers drone on about solids, liquids, and gases, you're sitting there with the forbidden knowledge that would shatter their entire lesson plan. Your glasses literally glow with superior intellect as you prepare to drop this fourth-state-of-matter bomb on the class. Watch as the teacher either calls you a nerd or frantically changes the subject to avoid admitting they forgot about the state that makes up 99% of the visible universe. Power move.

Executive orders can't override the laws of physics, no matter how confidently you hold up that folder. Plasma—the fourth state of matter that makes up 99% of the visible universe—just got ghosted harder than a grad student's funding application. Next week: gravity becomes optional on Tuesdays, and entropy is now illegal because "things getting messy is very bad for America."

Look at this cosmic daredevil! Neil deGrasse Tyson casually posing next to a black hole like it's just another day at the astrophysics office. That's the equivalent of taking a selfie with a shark while covered in fish guts! The black hole's gravity is so intense it should be turning him into cosmic spaghetti faster than you can say "gravitational tidal forces." But don't worry—it's just TV magic! In reality, if he were this close, he'd be stretched molecule by molecule into the thinnest Neil-noodle in the universe. The man explains space for a living but apparently missed the "don't stand next to objects that devour light itself" memo. His confidence is truly... astronomical! 🌌

Four years of differential equations and quantum mechanics, and now you're a glorified sandwich artist with a pivot table. That engineering degree prepared you to calculate the optimal trajectory of a submarine through the ocean—but instead you're calculating how many sandwiches fit in a display case. The universe has a twisted sense of humor when your biggest flex at work is knowing the VLOOKUP function that Barbara from accounting thinks is "basically magic." The gap between education and application is so vast you could fit the entire Standard Model in it.