G Is Already Pi Squared?

Holy radioactive hilarity, Batman! This is what happens when subatomic particles throw a pride parade! 🌈☢️ This masterpiece of scientific satire reimagines nuclear physics through the lens of gender and sexuality, creating the most fabulous periodic table you'll never find in a real textbook. Protons are straight men? Electrons are straight women? And neutrons are bisexual because they're "happy either with protons or neutrons"? The creator even went full mad scientist with beta decay, where neutrons transform into protons by emitting electrons (β- decay) or protons become neutrons by emitting positrons (β+ decay). Here they're rebranded as sexuality conversions with the scientific accuracy of a potato battery! The fusion reaction bit with "consuming Zyns" is particularly inspired nonsense. If your chemistry professor showed this slide, you'd either get an immediate PhD or be asked to leave the university forever. No in-between!

Dark matter researchers just felt that burn in multiple dimensions! The irony is delicious - scientists spend billions trying to detect something that's literally defined by being undetectable, while dismissing beliefs in other invisible entities. That awkward monkey face is every cosmologist realizing their career depends on finding something "silent, invisible, intangible, immeasurable, and undetectable." Yet they'll still insist it's completely different from believing in deities because... reasons and equations. Next time you're at a physics conference, just whisper "so how's that dark matter hunt going?" and watch them make exactly this face.

The ultimate collision of bathroom physics and quantum mechanics! This grid system turns your toilet into a scientific battleground where urinary trajectories become a statistical nightmare. The "Schrödinger's Piss" comment is pure genius—suggesting your stream exists in all grid coordinates simultaneously until observed. Just like the famous quantum cat, your pee is both hitting the water and splashing on the seat until someone walks in and collapses the wave function. Engineers trying to map fluid dynamics with coordinate systems is the most on-brand thing ever. Next up: calculating the splash radius using differential equations!

Forget zombies and vampires! The REAL power move is dressing as radioactive elements and Nobel Prize winners! On the left, we've got glowing green radium (complete with that signature bikini that screams "I'll light up your Halloween AND give you radiation poisoning!"). On the right, the legendary Marie Curie with her lab coat, elegant black dress, and perfectly styled bun that says "I discovered radioactive elements AND won TWO Nobel Prizes while rocking this look." Science nerds have the BEST costume ideas - because nothing says "spooky season" like elements that literally glow in the dark and the badass woman who discovered them! 💀☢️

French Revolution meets Chemistry 101! Helium introduces itself as a "noble gas" to a French aristocrat who takes it literally... and sends it to the guillotine. Bad move, buddy. When you behead an atom containing protons and neutrons, you get nuclear fission—and that mushroom cloud is nature's way of saying "I told you I was noble, you powdered-wig nitwit." Next time, maybe brush up on your periodic table before executing elements.

The eternal physics department hierarchy in one brutal takedown! Experimental physicists build intricate contraptions to measure quantum wobbles and cosmic jiggles, while theoretical physicists scribble equations and mumble about 11-dimensional manifolds. The experimentalists are basically just high-precision engineers creating reality-checking machines for the theorists who'd otherwise float away into mathematical abstraction. It's the perfect scientific symbiosis - one group makes fancy toys, the other group makes fancy thoughts, and together they advance human knowledge while passive-aggressively competing for department funding.