Correlation Equals Causation: The Conspiracy Theorist's Handbook

Two scientific worldviews walk into a bar... only one remains standing! The crying flat earther desperately clings to "gravity is fake" while Einstein's General Relativity just calmly responds with "Yes." Because when you've mathematically proven that massive objects literally bend the fabric of spacetime, you don't need to scream about it. The universe does the talking for you! The ultimate scientific mic drop that's been warping minds since 1915.

This one's a scientific mic drop! People claiming "electromagnetic hypersensitivity" freak out about WiFi signals, but completely forget that neutrinos and cosmic rays are zipping through their bodies by the TRILLIONS every second! 😂 While WiFi operates at about 2.4 GHz with super low power, cosmic rays are high-energy particles from space that have been bombarding Earth (and us) since before humans existed. And neutrinos? Those sneaky subatomic particles are so non-interactive they can pass through a light-year of lead without stopping! The irony is delicious - worrying about WiFi while being completely unbothered by the cosmic particle rave happening through your body right now!

The Empire's engineering department just got owned by the Flat Death Star Society. In a universe where we can build planet-destroying superweapons, apparently basic geometry is still controversial. Next they'll claim the tractor beam is just magnets and the Force is a government conspiracy. I suppose if you squint hard enough at a sphere, everything looks flat—just like some people's learning curves.

The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one! Science deniers somehow manage to hold two completely contradictory criticisms of scientists simultaneously: "They keep changing their theories!" and "They're too stubborn to change their views!" It's like complaining that a restaurant has too many menu options while also whining they never update their menu. Pick a lane, people! This is exactly why the scientific method exists - to systematically test ideas and revise them based on evidence, not to confirm whatever nonsense you read on your uncle's Facebook page.

The agony of holiday science conversations captured in four painful panels! The relative confidently questions why space photos lack stars (a common conspiracy talking point), while the exhausted scientist tries explaining light pollution. When the relative doubles down with "light isn't a physical thing, it can't cause pollution," you can practically feel the scientist's soul leaving their body. Light pollution is actually the excessive artificial light that drowns out celestial objects in our night sky. But the real issue here is the space photos conspiracy theory - NASA images often use exposure settings optimized for their main subject (like the Moon or spacewalking astronauts), making stars too dim to capture. The same reason you can't see stars in daylight photos! The desperate "Auntie please" is the universal cry of scientists everywhere who just wanted to enjoy their turkey in peace.

Behold the greatest statistical blunder since someone tried to measure my sanity! This masterpiece of mathematical mayhem takes a simple census statistic and spirals into existential crisis territory faster than a quantum particle can teleport! The logic here is absolutely delicious - if Finns make up 0.0912% of humans (with a 1% margin of error), and that margin of error is larger than the actual percentage... then mathematically speaking, Finland's existence becomes a coin flip! 🤯 It's like Schrödinger's country - Finland both exists and doesn't exist until you observe it! Next time someone claims they're from Finland, just squint suspiciously and mutter "statistical anomaly" under your breath.