Pluto Slander

Poor Pluto out here catching strays harder than it catches Neptune's gravitational influence! The meme brilliantly roasts Pluto's planetary status with scientific precision. The "my very educated mother just served us nine pizzas" mnemonic reference is particularly savage—remember when that final P actually meant something? Pluto's bizarre orbit crossing Neptune's path is the celestial equivalent of cutting in line at the cosmic cafeteria. And that size comparison with our Moon? Brutal. Pluto's basically that friend who keeps insisting they're 6 feet tall on dating apps when everyone knows they're 5'7".

The "If and when but never is" bit hits harder than a micrometeorite impact. Since its demotion in 2006, Pluto's been the astronomical equivalent of that person still using their ex's Netflix account years after the breakup. The planetoid is literally begging for validation with its "Give me liberty, Give me fire, Give me a tail Or I retire" plea—like a celestial midlife crisis.