Cosmic Priorities: Living In The Moment

Oh look, another conspiracy theory trying to debunk basic physics! The meme is questioning why meteor craters are circular instead of elongated like the second image. Spoiler alert: it's not because NASA is lying to you. When a meteor hits Earth, the explosive energy radiates equally in all directions regardless of impact angle. The resulting crater is almost always circular because the energy transfer creates a spherical shock wave. Even meteors hitting at shallow angles produce circular craters—it's not some grand cover-up, just good ol' physics doing its thing. Next they'll be asking why water doesn't stay in the shape of the ice cube tray. I swear, teaching freshman physics gets more challenging every year...

The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one. Water (H 2 O) has exactly TWO hydrogen atoms, while our solar system has exactly ONE star. Someone failed both chemistry and astronomy in spectacular fashion. The stick figure's journey from "wait, that can't be right" to "oh, I see the problem" is basically the scientific method in its most primal form - minus the peer review where your colleagues mercilessly mock your counting abilities. Next up: discovering there are more electrons in a grain of sand than there are grains of sand on Earth. (Spoiler: also wrong.)

Scientists: "Let's name this cosmic collision of two massive galaxies something that reflects the profound nature of celestial mechanics!" Reddit: "ANDY WINS BY A LANDSLIDE! 🤣" This is peak internet democracy at work! In 6 billion years, our descendants (if they haven't been vaporized in the galactic merger) will look up at the night sky and see... Andy. Not Milkdromeda. Not some fancy scientific name. Just... Andy. The cosmic equivalent of naming your pet dinosaur "Steve." Honestly, this is why we can't have nice things in the universe!

The ultimate physics paradox: we're all hurtling through space at 1700 km/hr on this giant cosmic carousel called Earth, yet we're too busy freaking out about playground merry-go-rounds (8 km/hr) and rollercoasters (120 km/hr)! Meanwhile, the dog has transcended human concerns entirely—achieving perfect zen while the planet rockets around the sun at supersonic speeds. Next time you're stressed about being late to work, remember you're already moving faster than a jet plane just by sitting still. The universe's greatest magic trick is making us feel stationary while we're all on the wildest ride in the galaxy!

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The cosmic naming inequality is real! 🌠 Astronomers cradle asteroids like precious babies, giving them mythological names like "Ceres" and "Vesta," while exoplanets get stuck with alphabet soup like "HD 189733b" or "TRAPPIST-1e." Poor exoplanet couldn't even be named "Hera" because the International Astronomical Union (IAU) has strict rules against duplicate names between celestial bodies. It's like being denied a cool nickname because someone's pet goldfish already claimed it! 🪐 The exoplanet's face says it all - cosmic injustice at its finest!