The Law Of Excluded Middle

The most beautiful self-fulfilling prophecy in science! The professor isn't wrong—100% of people who confuse correlation and causation will die... just like 100% of people who don't. The ultimate statistical trap for the unwary freshman. Next week's lecture: "Ice cream sales and drowning deaths both increase in summer, therefore ice cream causes drowning" and other tales from the statistical graveyard. Remember kids, just because two things happen together doesn't mean one caused the other—unless we're talking about not wearing a parachute and hitting the ground at terminal velocity.

Every math major knows the transformation! Left side: casual clothes and pajama pants for grinding through problem sets and theorems. Right side: suited up for the day you finally understand complex numbers and can present yourself to the mathematical world! The glow-up is REAL when you go from "i have no idea what I'm doing" to "i² = -1 and I can prove it." The mathematical metamorphosis we all dream about!

The pie chart of mathematical failure is STATISTICALLY HILARIOUS! That tiny sliver of blue for "Math mistake" compared to the massive orange chunk of "English mistake" perfectly captures the true villain of math homework. It's not the calculus that gets ya—it's misreading "find the value" as "find the derivative"! My laboratory notebooks are 2% calculation errors and 98% me writing "proton" when I meant "photon." The universe's greatest constant isn't Planck's—it's our ability to understand complex equations while simultaneously forgetting basic reading comprehension!

The ultimate scientific paradox: someone who claims to "just read pop-science books" but somehow knows enough to make actual scientists question their own expertise. Every researcher knows this type - the Neil deGrasse Tyson wannabe who drops quantum physics terms at parties but has never set foot in a lab. That smug little smirk in the last panel is the universal signal of "I've memorized just enough jargon to sound smart at dinner parties." Meanwhile, actual PhD students are sobbing into their ramen noodles wondering if six years of advanced education was worth it when this guy gets the same respect after skimming "A Brief History of Time" once.

The existential crisis of calculus students everywhere! That moment when 'dx' isn't just part of a fraction but some mystical mathematical entity floating around by itself! It's like being told your whole life that unicorns aren't real and then suddenly your professor starts riding one to class. 🧮✨ For the uninitiated, 'dx' represents an infinitesimally small change in x - it's both nothing and something simultaneously, like Schrödinger's variable! First it's just notation, then BAM! It's dancing around integrals like it owns the place. No wonder calculus makes perfectly sane students question reality!

That face when someone claims they've proven 0=1 through mathematical trickery! The horrified cat represents every mathematician's soul leaving their body upon seeing such mathematical blasphemy. In these "proofs," people typically sneak in a division by zero or some other illegal operation, then act like they've revolutionized mathematics. It's the mathematical equivalent of claiming you've invented a perpetual motion machine because you "forgot" about friction. Next thing you know, they'll be trying to divide by zero to prove cats can actually fly.