Why You Should (Or Shouldn't) Date A Scientist

From a cosmic perspective, Neil deGrasse Tyson reminds us that we're all just stardust with attitude. The meme plays on his famous astronomical perspective—where human divisions fade against the backdrop of a 13.8-billion-year-old universe containing roughly 10 24 stars. When you've spent decades contemplating supermassive black holes that could swallow our entire solar system, petty human squabbles do start to seem rather... insignificant. Cosmic perspective: unlocked. 🌌

This brutally honest physics textbook introduction might be the most accurate summary of the field ever written. Four centuries of physics progress distilled into "we figured out some stuff, broke other stuff, and still have no clue about... *checks notes*... basically everything important." The list of unsolved problems is just chef's kiss. Quantum mechanics, cosmology, thermodynamics, relativity, fluid dynamics, and time itself? Minor details we'll sort out eventually. Probably.

Sørensen really said "I'm gonna create one of the most fundamental measurements in chemistry and then refuse to elaborate on what the 'p' stands for." Classic power move. Scientists in 1909 were like "So what does the 'p' mean?" and he just shrugged and walked away. Now we're all stuck debating whether it's "potential," "power," or just "please stop asking me questions." The man literally invented a unit that measures how acidic your kombucha is and then left everyone on read. Scientific ghosting at its finest.

Nothing makes an astrophysicist more euphoric than measuring the entire universe in light-travel time. Why use boring conventional units when you can express galactic distances in billions of years? These cosmic hipsters converted everything to seconds and called it revolutionary. Next time you ask how far away a star is, don't be surprised when they smugly reply "about 4 trillion seconds, give or take a few millennia." The rest of us peasants will stick to meters and kilograms while they're out there living in 4-dimensional spacetime like it's no big deal.

BEHOLD! The perfect quantum physics joke! Heisenberg's uncertainty principle means you can't know BOTH position AND momentum precisely—hence the "now we're lost" punchline when his speed is measured! 🤣 And poor Schrödinger! His famous thought experiment suggests a cat in a box exists in a superposition of alive AND dead states until observed. The cop's observation collapsed the wavefunction! *maniacal laughter* Bonus physics fact: If these two had invited Einstein, he'd have muttered "God does not play dice with traffic violations" before getting a ticket anyway!

That moment when you correctly explain gravity in a Reddit comment and suddenly you're floating above Newton and Galileo with cosmic wings. Sure, I read half a physics textbook once and watched a YouTube video about quantum mechanics. Basically the same as revolutionizing our understanding of the universe. The undergraduate physics major's final form isn't even their final form.