Very Unfair: The Galileo Vs. Internet Paradox

The ancient Egyptians had physics figured out WAY before Newton! This satirical Onion headline brilliantly plays on the eternal debate about pyramid construction techniques while throwing in the "aliens did it" conspiracy theory for good measure. The title is pure physics gold - conservation of energy means the work required to move those massive blocks doesn't depend on the path taken (assuming no friction). Whether you're dragging stones up a ramp or using fancy alien technology, physics demands the same energy payment! Meanwhile, archaeologists everywhere are facepalming at the "aliens" explanation. Those little stick figures with light bulbs for heads? Definitely not suspicious at all... 👽

Physics professors love nothing more than dramatically retelling the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse like it's some ancient Sith legend. "Did you ever hear the tragedy of Galloping Gertie? I thought not. It's not a story the civil engineers would tell you." The bridge's spectacular undulating dance of death in 1940 is basically physics porn—a perfect example of resonance frequency gone wild. Engineers built a bridge, wind created periodic force matching the structure's natural frequency, and boom—instant classroom cautionary tale for the next century. Nothing makes a physics professor more gleefully sinister than showing that grainy black-and-white footage while students realize that yes, math can actually kill you.

Finally, a practical application of thermal expansion. This person just discovered they're not carrying extra mass—they're simply existing at a higher temperature state, causing their molecular structure to occupy more space. The perfect excuse backed by hard physics. Next time someone comments on your size, just tell them you're operating at a more energetic thermal equilibrium than most.

Behold the natural selection process of social interactions for physics majors! The moment you unleash your cosmic ambitions on unsuspecting new acquaintances, you trigger an immediate entropy increase in their escape velocity. It's not your fault the universe is fascinating and people run away faster than particles during radioactive decay! Next time try leading with "I like movies" instead of your 20-minute theory on quantum fluctuations in the multiverse. Your social circle might actually complete a full rotation!

The fundamental laws of fruit physics are often overlooked in romantic relationships. What we're witnessing is a classic demonstration of the "Citrus Segment Conservation Principle" - the orange segments that are removed must equal those returned. Notice how the partner's confusion in the final panel indicates they failed to account for the conservation of mass during the peeling process. Graduate students in my lab routinely make the same error when dividing snacks.

The great Feynman strikes again! Everyone's got opinions on politics, climate change, and what your ex is doing wrong, but mention magnets and suddenly it's all "how do they work?" Energy conservation? Sure. Quantum chromodynamics? No problem. But ask someone to explain magnetic fields without using the word "force" and watch their brain short-circuit faster than an undergrad's laptop during finals week.