Quantum Homework Got Me Like

Schrödinger: "The cat isn't literally both alive and dead simultaneously—it's a thought experiment about quantum superposition!" The internet: "Haha cat go both brrrr and not brrrr at same time." Schrödinger created his famous thought experiment to highlight the absurdity of applying quantum mechanics to everyday objects, but ironically became the poster child for the very interpretation he was criticizing. Now he's eternally trapped in a superposition of facepalming and screaming into the void.

Physics professors love crushing dreams faster than objects fall in a vacuum. First day of class and they're already dismantling childhood myths alongside the laws of physics. "There is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy, and there is no air resistance in our calculations." Welcome to freshman physics, where ideal conditions exist only in textbooks and your GPA is about to experience significant gravitational acceleration.

The academic food chain in all its glory! While math, physics, and engineering students smugly think they've seen it all, biology students are having an existential crisis at the sight of calculus. That green monster isn't just any monster—it's integral calculus coming to devour your GPA and free time. The hierarchy of scientific smugness gets absolutely wrecked when derivatives enter the chat. Even the bravest bio major who confidently dissected a frog is now screaming at the sight of a differential equation. Meanwhile, physics students are like "first time?" 😏

Look at France casually releasing 11,400 units of tritium into the English Channel while everyone else is trying to keep their numbers down! That's not a nuclear power plant, that's a tritium dispensary with a "free samples" sign. The French are over here playing radioactive hot potato with the Channel like "Bonjour, would you like some spicy water with your fish and chips?" Meanwhile, China's Sanmen plant is sitting at 20 units looking suspiciously innocent. "We're eco-friendly!" Sure, and I'm Marie Curie without the radiation poisoning.

String theory physicists are basically the conspiracy theorists of the science world. They're sitting in this interrogation-style room wondering if "anti-de Sitter space" is secretly lurking around them like some invisible boogeyman. For the uninitiated, anti-de Sitter space is a mathematical construct in string theory with negative curvature—something you definitely can't see with the naked eye, yet theorists spend decades obsessing over it. The paranoid expression on their faces is priceless—like they've stumbled onto the universe's biggest secret but can't prove it to anyone outside their theoretical physics bubble. Classic case of "my equations say it's there, so it must be!"

The duality of physicists! Dismisses astrology as "made up nonsense" but gets absolutely giddy about theoretical spacetime tunnels that might not even exist. Sure, wormholes are mathematically consistent with general relativity, but so is my theory that grading papers causes temporal distortion. The irony of rejecting star signs while worshipping equations that describe cosmic shortcuts nobody's ever seen is just *chef's kiss*. Next time someone scoffs at your horoscope, ask them about their feelings on string theory.