Gay Test Courtesy Of Math

Isaac Newton judging your scrolling habits from the 1600s is the ultimate time-traveling guilt trip! Fun fact: Newton actually invented calculus (and differential equations) during a pandemic lockdown when Cambridge University closed due to the plague. Meanwhile, we're just here doom-scrolling through cat videos. The irony? Newton couldn't possibly have said this quote since social media wasn't invented until 300+ years after his death! He was too busy discovering gravity after an apple allegedly bonked him on the head to worry about your TikTok addiction. Now excuse me while I close this app and... oh wait, just one more meme...

Nothing triggers a math nerd faster than hearing "Oiclid" and "Youler" at a party. Suddenly the most mild-mannered professor transforms into a geometry vigilante ready to correct you with the fury of a thousand partial derivatives. It's like watching someone put pineapple on pizza in front of an Italian chef—pure, calculated rage. These aren't just random dead guys; they're the sacred ancestors of every theorem that's ever made a freshman cry during finals week.

Every engineering student's existential crisis when faced with advanced math! That moment when you're calculating eigenvectors of matrix A while wondering if these skills will translate to real-world social success. For the curious minds: eigenvectors are those special vectors that don't change direction when transformed by a matrix—they just get stretched or shrunk. Useful for everything from structural analysis to quantum mechanics, but perhaps not directly applicable to one's dating profile. Though imagine the pickup line: "Baby, you've transformed my heart like a linear operator with a positive eigenvalue." 💀

Nothing quite like watching your $200+ technological marvel decide that basic calculus requires a committee meeting and a coffee break. The calculator's processing time is inversely proportional to how desperately you need the answer. Murphy's Law of Computational Timing: the importance of the calculation multiplied by the remaining exam time equals constant disappointment.

That rare mathematical epiphany when suddenly all those squiggly symbols transform from hieroglyphics into ACTUAL MEANING! Your brain does that little *click* and you feel like you've unlocked the secrets of the universe with a TI-84 calculator. It's like catching a unicorn—you want to grab everyone nearby and scream "THE NUMBERS MAKE SENSE NOW!" but instead you just sit there with that goofy suppressed smile, trying not to look too excited about partial derivatives while everyone else is still struggling. Mathematical enlightenment is a dish best served with a smirk!

Behold the perfect fusion of physics and mental health! In navigation, the "angle of depression" is the downward angle from horizontal when viewing something below you. But here, it's brilliantly repurposed as the existential outlook of a scientist/student staring into the abyss of... well, everything. That downward-sloping line isn't just measuring elevation—it's measuring life satisfaction! This is what happens when you understand enough physics to measure precisely how bleak things are. Next time someone asks about your worldview, just whip out a protractor and say "approximately 45 degrees below horizontal."