Engineering: Where Reality Is Optional

Ever notice how everyone has their own relationship with math? Mathematicians gaze lovingly at equations like they're staring at the Mona Lisa. Engineers just want math to help them build stuff without collapsing. Meanwhile, data scientists are over there turning numbers into cash machines! The mathematical hierarchy of needs - from pure aesthetic appreciation to cold hard cash. Next time someone says "I love math," ask them if they love it for its beauty, its utility, or its ability to fund their avocado toast habit.

The eternal academic caste system on full display! Physicists looking down on engineers with that unmistakable "I derive the equations, you just use them" expression. Pure theoretical superiority in human form. The hierarchy is real - physicists discover the laws of nature, engineers merely apply them, and Juan... well, Juan's just trying to pass Intro to Mechanics. Next time your engineer friend says "close enough," just flash this look and watch them dissolve into practical insignificance.

Evolution had 3.5 billion years to figure out locomotion, and here's this dude in bed having an existential crisis about wheels! 🤣 The perfect example of that midnight "I'm-so-smart" thought that gets shut down with the relationship equivalent of "Sir, this is a Wendy's." Wheels may be efficient on smooth surfaces, but try rolling up a tree or across a swamp! Nature actually optimized for adaptability over efficiency—legs can climb, jump, swim, and don't need roads. Plus, biological wheels would need some wild rotating joint with blood vessels that somehow... disconnect and reconnect? Talk about engineering nightmare! Meanwhile, his partner is just trying to sleep through another one of his 2AM biology revelations.

This flowchart is what happens when career counselors have a mental breakdown. Engineering? Only if you're "good with things." Chemistry? Congratulations on your future as a "fussy pedant." And let's not forget Computer Science, perfect for those who prefer "slow, indirect evil" over the more efficient varieties. The beautiful part is how it nails the existential crisis of every STEM student. "Why do you want to major in a STEM field?" Options include "curiosity" (adorable), "to save the planet" (delusional), or my personal favorite, the dawning realization that STEM was supposed to involve actual plants for Biology majors. After 30 years of teaching, I can confirm this is approximately 87% accurate. The missing 13% is the path where you choose your major based on which department has the least uncomfortable chairs in the lecture hall.

The desperate connection between pregnancy and horsepower is the kind of logic that keeps physics teachers up at night. Horsepower is a unit of power equal to 746 watts, not a literal count of horses inside an engine. That disappointed seal represents every educator who's watched their careful explanations of mechanical physics crumble under the weight of a student's "brilliant" insight. The wall of red string connections in the background really sells the manic energy of someone who thinks they've discovered a groundbreaking scientific principle while completely missing the fundamentals.

Engineers watching their meticulously designed projects get rushed by management deadlines! The Boeing logo is just *chef's kiss* perfect irony here. Real engineers know the struggle - you need proper time to calculate, test, and validate, but someone upstairs is always yelling "we needed it yesterday!" Then everyone acts shocked when things don't work perfectly. 🤦‍♂️ Engineering needs TIME, people! Safety and quality can't be rushed, but try telling that to quarterly profit reports!