Assumptions Memes

Rejects astrology as nonsense but blindly worships the ideal gas law. Classic scientist hypocrisy. The equation PV = nRT only works under perfect conditions that practically never exist in nature - just like horoscopes never predicting your actual personality. The difference? One gets you published in Nature, the other gets you eye-rolls at department mixers.

Physics textbooks living in their own bizarre reality where penguins are perfect cylinders! Next thing you know, they'll tell us cows are perfect spheres in a vacuum. These absurd simplifications are the reason physics students wake up in cold sweats mumbling "frictionless surfaces" and "point masses." The gap between elegant theory and messy reality is basically the Grand Canyon of science. But hey, if you can solve for a cylindrical penguin sliding down a frictionless plane, you're practically ready to solve climate change!

Behold, the perfect spherical chicken in its natural habitat! In introductory physics problems, we're always told to "assume a spherical cow" or other ridiculous simplifications to make the math work. This chicken clearly got the memo and decided to comply with our theoretical models. Next week in class: frictionless surfaces and point masses! Remember kids, in physics we don't care about feathers, beaks, or biological reality—just whether we can integrate over its volume using spherical coordinates.

Oh, the beautiful irony of physics problems! While rich people claim money doesn't matter (with billions in their accounts) and beautiful people say beauty doesn't matter (while getting paid for their looks), physicists are over here creating entire fantasy worlds where fundamental forces just... don't exist? Every physics student knows the pain of reading "ignore friction" or "assume air resistance is negligible" right before calculating how a spherical cow moves through a vacuum. It's like telling someone drowning that water doesn't matter. Sure, Jan. Next you'll tell me gravity is just a suggestion!

Nothing says "physics problem" quite like turning living creatures into perfect geometric shapes. In the real world, cats are complex biological organisms with non-uniform density and irregular shapes. But in physics? Square that feline! Reduce it to a cube with uniform mass distribution! Next week we'll model a cow as a perfect sphere in a vacuum. Because why let reality get in the way of a solvable equation? The hallmark of theoretical physics: if nature doesn't cooperate with your math, just redefine nature.

The ultimate physics burn! While rich folks and beautiful people get to casually dismiss what they have in abundance, physicists are over here living the REAL "doesn't matter" lifestyle! 😂 Every physics student has heard that magical phrase "assume friction is negligible" or "ignore air resistance" about a million times. It's the ultimate academic cop-out - just pretend all those complicated real-world factors don't exist so we can actually solve the problem! The Tom from Tom & Jerry reaction is absolutely perfect because physicists are basically cartoon characters living in an idealized world where pulleys are massless, ropes don't stretch, and everything happens in a vacuum. Meanwhile, engineers are screaming in the background because EVERYTHING ACTUALLY MATTERS IN REAL LIFE!

Physics textbooks exist in their own special dimension where penguins are perfect cylinders and cows are spherical. Nobody asked for these simplifications, yet there they are, teaching generations of students that air resistance is negligible and pulleys are frictionless. Next time your experiment fails, remember it's not you—it's just that reality refuses to be a well-behaved mathematical model. Those of us who've spent years in the lab know the truth: the universe is held together by duct tape and statistical error bars.

Romance is temporary. Idealized physics conditions are forever. Nothing gets an engineer more excited than removing all the messy real-world complications that make calculations difficult. "Assume ideal gas" is basically foreplay in thermodynamics class. The perfect relationship doesn't involve chocolates and roses—it's when your professor lets you ignore friction, assume perfect efficiency, and pretend gases behave exactly as the equations predict. Sexy.

Physicists will fight to the death over the difference between 9.8 and 10 m/s² for gravitational acceleration, then casually toss out "let's just assume this penguin is a perfect cylinder" in the next breath. The duality of physics: precision where it doesn't matter, wild approximations where it does. Schrödinger would be proud of that simultaneously dead and alive cat—though he probably wouldn't appreciate being reduced to a SpongeBob meme.