First Day Science Class Expectations

The world's most desperate chemistry pickup line. "Hey do you like chemistry?" followed by the formula NaBrO₃ (sodium bromate) which sounds like "Nah, bro" when read aloud. Twenty years teaching gen chem and I've seen students try this on each other with a success rate approaching absolute zero. Pro tip: if you need chemical compounds to talk to someone, you might want to try a different reaction pathway.

The superhero interpretation of atomic structure is painfully accurate. The electron, portrayed by Wolverine, stands aloof and brooding - exactly how electrons behave, constantly threatening to jump to another energy level without warning. Meanwhile, the proton and neutron cuddle in the nucleus like they're at a middle school dance. The strong nuclear force is basically just atomic PDA. Next semester I'll be teaching quantum mechanics using X-Men comics instead of textbooks. Might finally get someone to stay awake.

Plot twist in the science celebrity universe! 🧪💥 While Bill Nye has been the face of science education with his mechanical engineering degree, action star Dolph Lundgren is secretly walking around with a CHEMICAL ARSENAL of degrees! The man who punched bad guys on screen was simultaneously punching through advanced chemistry problems with his TWO bachelor's degrees, master's degree, and even a Fulbright Scholarship to MIT! This is like finding out your gym teacher has three PhDs in quantum physics. Never judge a scientist by their pectorals, folks! The universe is full of surprises... and apparently so is Ivan Drago's CV.

Noble gases don't react much, but they certainly have a sense of humor. The punchline works on multiple levels - "HeHe" is both the sound of laughter and the chemical symbol for two helium atoms (He). Helium, being element #2 on the periodic table, is notoriously inert and silent. The notion that scientists could record atomic laughter is absurd enough to make any chemist snort into their coffee. Just another day in the lab, recording subatomic giggles.

Chemistry pickup lines got nothing on this electron exchange! Sodium (Na) is desperately looking for stability by giving away its outer electron, while Chlorine (Cl) is all too happy to accept it. Instead of just a boring electron transfer, they form this epic electrostatic relationship and become table salt (NaCl)! It's basically chemistry's version of "sliding into DMs" but with actual attraction that works. The atoms are literally forming bonds like they're on a dating app - swiping right on stability and creating the spice of life! Next time you shake salt on your food, remember you're witnessing the aftermath of atomic flirting.

The most scientifically accurate epitaph in cemetery history! Instead of the usual "Rest in Peace," this physicist went with the thermodynamically precise "My atoms have gained entropy." It's basically saying "I've died" but in the language of the Second Law of Thermodynamics. When we die, our organized biological systems break down, and our atoms scatter into more disordered states—literally increasing entropy. Howard clearly wanted his final message to follow the fundamental laws of physics even in death. The universe tends toward disorder, and so did Howard!