We Got Him: Crystallographic Checkmate

In what might be the most spectacular fusion of ignorance and confidence ever recorded, we have a quote confusing Albert Einstein with Jeffrey Epstein. That's like mixing up the Theory of Relativity with... well, prison time. This is what happens when you skip science class to focus on "alternative facts." The distance between Einstein's E=mc² and whatever this "stable genius" thinks physics is could probably be measured in light-years. Remember kids, knowing the difference between Einstein and Epstein is literally the lowest possible bar for discussing either physics or... well, anything else.

First day of physics: "Just use your right hand to figure out magnetic field directions!" *happy student noises* Two weeks later: "The Lorentz force is given by F = qE + q(v × B) where the cross product determines..." *brain.exe has stopped working* That moment when your professor casually transitions from "wiggle your fingers" to "calculate the electromagnetic force on a charged particle moving through spacetime" is the true university experience. Your confidence evaporates faster than liquid nitrogen at room temperature!

Electricity's personality changes drastically with voltage! Low voltage current is like that rule-following nerd who politely asks for permission slips—following conductors and obeying Ohm's law by taking paths of least resistance. High voltage, though? Total chaos energy. It transforms into a raging beast that creates its own conductive plasma channel through AIR ITSELF. That lightning bolt isn't asking for permission—it's tearing through the dielectric breakdown voltage of air (~3 million V/m) and ionizing a path wherever it pleases. It's basically electricity going from "may I please use the designated pathway?" to "I'LL MAKE MY OWN PATH THROUGH LITERAL SPACE!"

Why create a new theory when you can just patch the old one? Quantum physicists don't want elegant solutions—they want mathematical chaos! Instead of developing a clean, complete theory of quantum particles (boring!), they'd rather slap on another 15 terms to the Standard Model Lagrangian and call it a day. It's like fixing your car with duct tape when it needs a new engine. "Is your theory breaking down at high energies? Just add more variables and perturbation terms until the math works!" The academic equivalent of solving problems by making them more complicated. Pure genius or pure madness? You decide!

Throwing up gang signs? Pfft, that's for amateurs! Real physics nerds flash the right-hand rule, where your fingers magically represent three perpendicular vectors in 3D space! Your thumb points to B (magnetic field), index finger to F (force), and middle finger to v (velocity). It's how we secretly identify fellow physics enthusiasts at parties while calculating electromagnetic interactions. Next time someone asks what you're doing with your hand, just smirk and say "calculating cross products, obviously." Science street cred: ACHIEVED.

When Fourier Transform walks into the math party! This brilliant pun plays on Fourier analysis—the mathematical technique that decomposes any signal into a sum of sine waves. No matter how complex your waveform looks, mathematically it's just a bunch of sine waves added together with different amplitudes and frequencies. It's like claiming your fancy cocktail isn't just water... but it's 60% water, 30% ethanol, and 10% other compounds. The mathematical equivalent of "technically correct is the best kind of correct."