Crystallography Memes

Posts tagged with Crystallography

I Have Ranked The Optimal Packings

I Have Ranked The Optimal Packings
Someone finally did the hard science we've all been waiting for. This tier list ranks various square/diamond packing arrangements by efficiency, and frankly, I'm relieved we can finally settle the age-old debate of optimal tessellation patterns. The S-tier arrangements clearly maximize space utilization while the F-tier patterns would make any mathematician physically ill. This is the kind of research that keeps crystallographers up at night and makes materials scientists feel things. Next up: ranking hexagonal close-packing vs. cubic close-packing, but that might be too controversial for the internet.

Chemists Unite Against The Common Enemy

Chemists Unite Against The Common Enemy
The eternal struggle between crystal healers and crystallographers, beautifully satirized as a conspiracy theory! This masterpiece of scientific snark parodies how actual scientists feel when crystal enthusiasts claim healing properties while researchers spend years of their lives determining atomic structures through diffraction patterns. Those complex unit cell diagrams? Just "VOODOO mathematics" according to the meme. And that ridiculous chemical formula K 14 LaO 158 P 4 W 34 ? Try synthesizing that without carbon (or sanity)! My favorite part is "crystals made of PhD tears" - because nothing captures the essence of crystallography better than crying over diffraction patterns at 3AM wondering why your sample won't crystallize after 8 months of synthesis. The irony is delicious - real crystallographers would fight anyone claiming neutrons don't exist, yet would absolutely agree with the PhD tears part.

Atomic Packing Factor: The Budget Edition

Atomic Packing Factor: The Budget Edition
When someone asks about your budget constraints and you're living like atoms in a crystal lattice! The image shows a perfect example of inefficient atomic packing—spheres surrounded by cubes with tons of wasted space. In crystallography, this would be a materials scientist's nightmare with a pathetically low packing factor. For the uninitiated, efficient crystal structures like face-centered cubic have atoms packed so tightly they reach 74% space utilization. This budget, however, is operating at maybe 30% efficiency—basically the crystallographic equivalent of paying Manhattan rent for a closet-sized apartment while your neighbor's cat has the penthouse.

Maximum Density, Minimum Funds

Maximum Density, Minimum Funds
Financial efficiency maximized to 74% - just like face-centered cubic crystal structures. Those empty spaces between atoms? That's where my hopes of affording concert tickets used to live. Materials scientists know the pain of trying to fill space optimally while maintaining structural integrity. My bank account follows similar principles, except with less mathematical elegance and more instant ramen.

The Solution That Finally Crystallized Was The One We Forgot About In The Back Of The Fume Hood For Six Months

The Solution That Finally Crystallized Was The One We Forgot About In The Back Of The Fume Hood For Six Months
Protein crystallization is less science and more dark magic. You follow every protocol meticulously, adjust pH to four decimal places, and still nothing happens. Then some grad student forgets a sample in the back of the fume hood for half a year, and suddenly—perfect crystals. The universe rewards neglect while punishing dedication. Every structural biologist knows the real technique is pretending you don't care about your samples. It's like dating, but with macromolecules.

The Crystallography Conspiracy Files

The Crystallography Conspiracy Files
What happens when you blend conspiracy theories with the pain of structural biology research? This masterpiece. The truth about crystallography they don't want you to know: those diffraction patterns are just PhD students' tears crystallized under electron microscopes. That complex compound formula? Just keyboard smashing after the 47th failed crystallization attempt. Nothing captures lab desperation quite like calling your field "VOODOO mathematics" while staring at the same protein crystal that refuses to diffract properly for the fifth consecutive month. At least the "Round Pyramid Scheme" is aptly named - that's where your career goes when you can't get publishable data.

So Many Signals

So Many Signals
The eternal struggle of protein crystallography summed up in dragon form. The diagnostic region is all business, giving you that perfect diffraction pattern and structural data. Meanwhile, the fingerprint region is just vibing with its tongue out, creating a chaotic mess of overlapping signals that make your mass spec look like abstract art. Nothing says "six months of work down the drain" quite like realizing your protein's fingerprint region has the structural integrity of a sugar-high toddler.

Crystallographers: Ruining Relationships Since 1913

Crystallographers: Ruining Relationships Since 1913
Nothing kills the romance like a crystallographer in your bed. While normal people worry about relationship issues, this poor woman's partner is lying awake contemplating why reciprocal lattice space is denoted by G (for "grid") instead of R (for "reciprocal"). This is the kind of midnight crisis that haunts materials scientists and solid-state physicists everywhere. The notation G has been tormenting graduate students since 1913, and apparently ruining perfectly good relationships too.

Crystalline Budget Crisis

Crystalline Budget Crisis
When someone asks about your budget and you're basically living like atoms in a poorly packed crystal structure. Those gaps between the spheres and cubes? That's where my money should be. Materials scientists know the struggle—inefficient packing means wasted space, just like my financial planning means wasted opportunities. The difference? Atoms have an excuse for their inefficiency. My bank account doesn't.

Rosalind Franklin Deserves More Credit

Rosalind Franklin Deserves More Credit
The historical science burn that keeps on burning! Franklin's X-ray crystallography image (Photo 51) was the crucial evidence for DNA's helical structure, but Watson and Crick swooped in with their model and snagged the Nobel Prize without proper attribution. Talk about academic theft dressed as discovery! The scientific equivalent of copying homework and getting an A while the person who did all the work gets nothing. Justice for Rosalind - her crystallography skills were literally dope as fuck and changed molecular biology forever.

Crystal Structure Supremacy

Crystal Structure Supremacy
Picture a chemist who just spent days growing the perfect crystal for X-ray diffraction, smugly dismissing every other characterization technique in existence. "Raman? IR? EMP? XPS? Please, I can see everything in my crystal structure!" This is the crystallography purist's fantasy world—where a single technique magically reveals all molecular secrets. Meanwhile, spectroscopists everywhere are collectively facepalming. It's like claiming you can understand an entire symphony just by looking at the sheet music without ever hearing the instruments play. The rage comic face perfectly captures the frustration of researchers who can't grow single crystals and have to use—gasp—multiple complementary techniques like normal scientists. The horror!

Defects Hit Different In Different Fields

Defects Hit Different In Different Fields
Left side shows Mr. Incredible looking pristine and happy because crystallographic defects are actually fascinating and useful in materials science. They're literally how we strengthen metals! Meanwhile, civil engineering defects (right side) are the stuff of nightmares that keep structural engineers awake at 3 AM. One field's "interesting anomaly" is another field's "catastrophic bridge collapse." Perspective is everything in science—and so is job security.