The man who revolutionized physics couldn't figure out the formula for a date! Poor Newton was too busy discovering gravity to experience any romantic attraction. While he calculated the universal forces between masses, the force between him and potential partners remained at zero.
The punchline about calculus is brutally funny because Newton literally invented a mathematical system that changed the world, but apparently couldn't integrate anyone into his personal life. Talk about opportunity cost! His brilliant mind was probably too occupied with falling apples to notice falling in love.
Historical note: While Newton did indeed invent calculus (simultaneously with Leibniz), he actually died celibate by choice, dedicating his life entirely to science and mathematics. Still, the mathematical burn is absolutely savage.