Schrödinger's Grant Rejection

The eternal battle between physics students and Newton's First Law! In the vacuum of space, with no air resistance or significant gravitational fields nearby, that rock you throw is basically signing up for an eternal road trip. It'll keep moving with constant velocity until something stops it—which in the vastness of space could be... never? The bell curve shows the classic intelligence distribution: the average folks (middle) correctly understand it keeps going forever, while the two extremes hilariously think it eventually stops. Newton is somewhere in the afterlife facepalming so hard right now.

The eternal search for perpetual motion machines continues! This sketch shows a truck with a robotic arm holding a magnet that's attracting an iron plate attached to the truck itself. It's basically trying to pull itself forward using magnetism – a classic physics-defying dream that would break conservation of energy faster than a grad student breaks their diet during finals week. The magnetic force pulling forward would be exactly balanced by the force needed to hold the magnet in position. Newton's third law strikes again! It's like trying to lift yourself up by pulling on your own bootstraps, except with more engineering and equally impossible results.

Oh look, Google says a proton is about 1/50th of an inch—roughly the size of a pinpoint! That's only off by a factor of 10 trillion trillion . A proton's actual diameter is around 0.8 femtometers (10 -15 meters), not half a millimeter. This is like claiming your coffee molecule is the size of Manhattan. Next time your undergrad says "but I read it on Google," remember this gem. And they wonder why I drink during office hours.

Nothing triggers a physics major faster than confusing a unit of distance with a unit of time. That raised fist isn't a sign of solidarity—it's the universal symbol for "I'm about to launch into a 20-minute lecture on how a light-year is approximately 9.46 trillion kilometers, the distance light travels in a vacuum in one Earth year." The face isn't smiling; it's the calm before the storm of scientific correction that's about to rain down on your ignorant head.

The cat has collapsed the wavefunction by observing itself. Schrödinger's famous thought experiment suggested a cat in a box could be simultaneously alive and dead until observed, but this feline has taken matters into its own paws. Breaking through the cardboard uncertainty principle with sheer determination. The ultimate peer review of quantum mechanics – conducted by its primary test subject. Physicists worldwide now scrambling to update textbooks.

This meme is a beautiful trainwreck of pseudoscience at its finest. The top graph shows an alleged inverse correlation between testosterone and IQ with one outlier circled in red - presumably our "Styro Pyro" hero below. Then we have what appears to be the living embodiment of that statistical anomaly: a young man posing next to a homemade electrical transformer (made from a styrofoam container with skull decoration) while holding what looks like a makeshift electrical component. The "MACRO WAVE" text suggests he's about to do something spectacularly unwise with microwave parts. It's the perfect representation of that guy who's simultaneously brilliant enough to build dangerous electrical contraptions from scratch but lacks the common sense to realize he shouldn't. The correlation graph is complete nonsense scientifically (that R² value of 0.19 is pathetically weak), but who needs statistical significance when you're busy channeling lightning through styrofoam?