The great recursive pants paradox—a thought experiment that's kept philosophy departments funded since 1973. The left option represents pants wearing pants as "shirts," covering the waistband area. The right shows pants wearing pants as, well, pants—with each leg properly clothed. This is essentially the philosophical trolley problem of fashion. I've seen doctoral dissertations with less intellectual depth. Next week: if shoes wore shoes, would they wear them on the toe or the heel? My grant money depends on your answer.