Neglect Air Resistance

When boys time travel to find their soulmates but girls are busy preventing Nobel Prize winners from glowing in the dark.

Every physics student knows the euphoria of seeing "assume ideal conditions" on an exam question. It's basically code for "we're ignoring all the messy real-world complications!" But when the professor hits you with "you cannot assume ideal conditions," that's when your soul leaves your body. Suddenly you're accounting for air resistance, friction, non-uniform density, and probably the butterfly effect in Madagascar. It's like going from "spherical cow in vacuum" paradise to "calculate the exact trajectory of this irregularly shaped cow falling through a hurricane" nightmare.

Finally, Apple's "distinctly great" calculator has arrived! Just $999 for a device that visualizes projectile motion with stick figures playing ping pong. The formula at the bottom is literally just the standard projectile motion equation that every physics student has written a thousand times. But hey, it has an Apple Pencil, so clearly it's revolutionary! Next innovation: discovering gravity exists, but making it 30% thinner than Newton's version.

Running away from physics problems faster than Billy's super-powered apple! For context: 13,000 terajoules is roughly the energy of a small nuclear bomb. That apple would literally vaporize Billy, the classroom, and probably the entire campus! Physics textbook problems exist in their own bizarre universe where watermelons weigh 70kg and trains travel at relativistic speeds. No wonder you're making memes instead of studying—it's the only sane response to these ridiculous scenarios!

The duality of physics education! On one side, we have the poor kid traumatized by the complex mathematical nightmare of electromagnetic field equations. Meanwhile, the happy-go-lucky student is vibing with "electrons go zoom to make light bulb bright!" Both are technically correct, but one of them will actually pass the exam while maintaining their sanity. Physics professors really be expecting us to understand Maxwell's equations when most people just want to know why the clicky switch makes room go bright. The circuit diagram is just the cherry on top of this educational disaster sundae.

The true villain in physics isn't the blue-faced scientist—it's the air resistance that ruins those perfect theoretical calculations. First-year physics: "Assume no air resistance." Real world: "Your projectile motion equations are adorable." Every physicist knows the purest equations exist only in a vacuum, where objects fall at 9.8 m/s² without pesky reality interfering. Including air resistance is basically choosing violence against undergrads.