Simplification Memes

Posts tagged with Simplification

The Cylindrical Penguin Approximation

The Cylindrical Penguin Approximation
Physics problems and their ridiculous simplifications are a special kind of comedy. The textbook casually instructs you to "assume a penguin is a circular cylinder" like it's the most reasonable thing in the world. Meanwhile, physics students just nod along with that "perfect, makes total sense" expression. Because who hasn't looked at a waddling bird and thought "ah yes, clearly a perfect geometric shape with uniform density." Next week: assume the cow is a perfect sphere in a vacuum!

You Can't Comb The Cat

You Can't Comb The Cat
Physicists and mathematicians have found yet another reason why cats are impossible to control! The Hairy Ball Theorem (yes, that's the actual name) basically says you can't comb a hairy sphere flat without creating at least one cowlick. Unlike those idealized "spherical cows in a vacuum" we love to joke about, our feline friends have mathematical proof they can't be perfectly smoothed. Next time your cat ignores your "assume ideal conditions" request, blame topology, not attitude. The universe literally guarantees cats will always have a point where they stick up for themselves!

The Noble Art Of Ignoring Air Resistance

The Noble Art Of Ignoring Air Resistance
Behold the mighty physics student on exam day! While mere mortals fret over air resistance, our fearless hero charges forward like a majestic lion, ignoring such trivial complications! In the wild kingdom of physics exams, those who simplify survive. "Assume a frictionless vacuum" is their battle cry! Why waste precious seconds calculating drag coefficients when you can just scribble "neglecting air resistance" and strut onward? The professors might growl, but they secretly admire such academic audacity. Remember kids: in physics, it's not about cutting corners—it's about "making reasonable approximations"!

The Spherical Cow Approximation

The Spherical Cow Approximation
Behold the ultimate physics simplification in its natural habitat! Physicists have a notorious habit of reducing complex problems to absurdly idealized scenarios. "Let's just assume this cow is a perfect sphere with uniform density and no air resistance..." Meanwhile, real-world engineers are sobbing in the corner with their 57-variable equations. This is why theoretical physicists can calculate the orbit of an electron but still can't predict when their coffee will stop being too hot to drink.

The Sweet Nothings Of Physics

The Sweet Nothings Of Physics
Romance is cute and all, but have you ever experienced the pure ecstasy of simplifying a complex physics problem? Engineers and physicists everywhere are quietly nodding in agreement. Those magical phrases that transform an impossible calculation into something actually solvable hit different. Sure, "I love you" makes your heart flutter, but "friction is negligible" makes your entire problem set disappear! The perfect relationship might be temporary, but the joy of assuming ideal gas behavior is forever.

All My Homies Reduce To Maclaurin

All My Homies Reduce To Maclaurin
The mathematical gangsters have spoken! The Taylor series might look fancy with its arbitrary center point c , but real ones know the Maclaurin series is just Taylor centered at zero. It's like showing up to a party with your complicated friend who insists on giving directions from some random landmark instead of just saying "start from downtown." Pure mathematicians spend hours proving they're different, while applied mathematicians just substitute c =0 and get on with their lives. Next time someone tries to impress you with Taylor series, just hit 'em with "cool story, but my homies reduce to Maclaurin."

Engineers Having A Mathematical Meltdown

Engineers Having A Mathematical Meltdown
Engineers discovering increasingly better approximations of π is like watching someone have a mathematical orgasm. First, they're mildly impressed with π itself. Then they discover 22/7 (≈3.14286) and get more excited. But when they find out about 21/7 (=3), their minds absolutely explode because suddenly math becomes suspiciously convenient. Nothing gets an engineer more hot and bothered than when a complex number simplifies to something ridiculously easy. It's basically mathematical foreplay.

The Fraction Hulk Smash

The Fraction Hulk Smash
The great mathematical betrayal! Your brain freezes at a simple division problem while your calculator smugly knows the answer is 2.57142857143... But wait! Your inner Hulk suddenly remembers that fractions exist and proudly presents the elegant solution: 18/7. Who needs decimal expansion when you can flex with fractional notation? The mathematical universe bows to your superior representation skills!

Spherical Chicken In A Vacuum

Spherical Chicken In A Vacuum
Finally, the theoretical physicist's dream comes true—a literal spherical chicken in a vacuum! For decades, physics problems have started with "assume a spherical chicken..." and now gardeners have made it reality. The only difference? This one lays eggs instead of solving differential equations. Perfect for those who want their poultry to have perfect symmetry under rotation. Next up: frictionless cows on infinite planes!

Assume Spherical Cat For Optimal Results

Assume Spherical Cat For Optimal Results
Physicists will literally model anything as a sphere to make the math easier. This cat has transcended reality by actually becoming the perfect spherical approximation! The Stefan-Boltzmann law calculates thermal radiation from objects, and yes, theoretically works on cats too. In physics problem sets, you'll find everything from "spherical cows" to "frictionless planes" because reality is messy and equations are clean. The cat's perfect loaf formation is basically proving that nature occasionally cooperates with our ridiculous simplifications. Fun fact: If you actually calculated the power radiated by this "spherical cat," it would be around 5.5 watts. That's enough energy to power a small LED light bulb. No wonder cats always feel warm!

Topology To Be Specific

Topology To Be Specific
From cow to sphere to donut. The natural progression of scientific abstraction. In reality, we have a standard dairy cow. Physics simplifies it to a spherical cow with uniform density (because physicists can't be bothered with anatomical details when calculating gravitational fields). Then mathematics takes it further with a topological transformation into a torus—because in topology, a coffee mug and a donut are identical. Seven years of graduate school just to learn that everything is either a point, a sphere, or a donut with various numbers of holes.

Assume Spherical Chicken

Assume Spherical Chicken
Physics professors everywhere just nodded in approval. The left drawing perfectly captures what happens when physicists say "let's simplify the problem" – suddenly that complex chicken becomes a perfect sphere! This is the infamous "spherical cow approximation" in action, where messy real-world objects get transformed into perfect mathematical shapes so equations actually work. Meanwhile, the real chicken on the right is just living its non-spherical life, completely unaware it's breaking several laws of theoretical physics by having actual features. Next up in the physics textbook: frictionless chickens in a vacuum!