There Exists A Mathematician's Obsession

The eternal struggle between STEM and business majors captured in six glorious panels! Patrick innocently mentions he's a business major, and Squidward assumes it's because he's scared of calculus. But when SpongeBob drops the dreaded "f(x)" function notation, Patrick freaks out like he's seen a mathematical ghost! 🧮👻 Business calculus is basically calculus with training wheels - all the formulas but none of the proofs that make math majors question their life choices. It's the diet soda of mathematics - technically contains calculus but with most of the difficulty artificially removed!

The eternal battle of Pi approximation across disciplines! Programmers smugly import it as a library constant, mathematicians flex with their continued fraction formulas that could stretch to infinity, and engineers? They're just like Patrick Star - "THREE. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT." Because when you're building a bridge, those extra decimal places are just showing off. The mathematician's formula is actually a beautiful continued fraction representation of π that converges to the true value, but the engineer knows that deadlines wait for no decimal point. In the real world, significant figures have feelings too!

The math gods have spoken! In the sacred ritual of unit circle learning, we shake hands with π, π/2, π/3, π/4, and π/6... but π/5 gets the purple teletubbies treatment! 😂 Why? Because π/5 doesn't produce those beautiful, clean sine and cosine values that math teachers worship. While the other angles give us nice rational expressions like 1/2 or √3/2, π/5 would force us to deal with the golden ratio's ugly cousin - messy irrational numbers that would make your calculator cry. The teletubbies character swooping in represents the curriculum gods who decided some angles just aren't worth the trauma. Your trig tables thank them for their mercy!

The academic food chain in its natural habitat! This is basically scientific natural selection at work. Mediocre mathematicians who can't handle pure abstraction find refuge in physics where they can hide behind experiments. Physics rejects then migrate to economics where they can make up models that nobody can falsify. And when those economists can't predict anything correctly? They simply retreat to economic history where they can just describe what happened without having to predict a single thing. It's the perfect academic survival strategy - each field is the witness protection program for the previous one!

Geometry coming in hot with the existential crisis! Parallel lines are like those friends who have everything in common but live in different cities—destined to share the same slope but never grab coffee together. Meanwhile, non-parallel lines have their brief moment of intersection glory before ghosting each other for eternity. It's basically Euclidean geometry's way of teaching us about relationships—either you never connect at all, or you meet once and then drift apart forever. Who knew math could make me need therapy?

The third "war crime" is the square root of negative three divided by zero. For mathematicians, this is truly criminal—attempting to take the square root of a negative number (which gives you an imaginary number) and then dividing by zero (which is undefined). It's like breaking two fundamental mathematical laws simultaneously. The kind of thing that would make your calculus professor wake up in a cold sweat. I've seen graduate students develop eye twitches when encountering expressions like this on exams.