Silicon Valley Hierarchy

Behold! The classic case of putting words in a dead scientist's mouth! Newton, who died about 300 years before Elon Musk started launching electric cars into space, somehow has strong opinions on electric rockets? 🤣 It's like claiming Hippocrates warned us about the dangers of TikTok dances! The beauty of this temporal paradox is that Newton, master of gravity and calculus, is being quoted on technology he couldn't possibly fathom. Time travel conspiracy, anyone? For the record, modern ion thrusters and plasma propulsion ARE forms of electric rockets. Newton would've been absolutely mind-blown!

The physics textbook vs. real world showdown! Physicists start by "simplifying" problems: ignore friction, air resistance, pretend objects are perfect spheres, no internal resistance, no energy loss, and round gravity to a neat g=10 m/s². Then they wonder why their calculations don't match reality. It's like building a swimming pool model while pretending water doesn't exist. The purple Teletubby-looking character represents the idealized physics world, cheerfully explaining to confused students why their lab results are "wrong." Welcome to physics, where reality is just an inconvenient obstacle to beautiful equations!

Those bright-eyed high school seniors touring campus have no idea what's coming. There you are, hanging out a window with your 14-page problem set that's due in 20 minutes, trying to warn them like some deranged prophet. "Run while you still can! They don't tell you about the all-nighters! The coffee doesn't even work anymore!" Meanwhile, the tour guide below is spouting nonsense about "enriching academic experiences" and "vibrant campus life." Sure, if by "vibrant" they mean the hallucinations you get after 72 hours without sleep trying to finish your thermodynamics project.

Why choose between fission and photons when you can SMASH BOTH BUTTONS?! The energy debate isn't binary, folks—it's a buffet! Nuclear gives us that sweet, sweet baseline power without the carbon belching, while renewables catch those sun rays and wind gusts that would otherwise just... exist uselessly. Only a true energy mastermind realizes we need EVERYTHING in our power portfolio. It's like having both chocolate AND vanilla ice cream—except instead of dessert, we're talking about preventing climate catastrophe while keeping the lights on. *maniacal scientist cackle*

Engineering students be like: "I'm passionate about solving complex problems and advancing humanity's technological frontiers!" Also engineering students: "I JUST WANT TO AFFORD A YACHT SOMEDAY!" 💰💰💰 The brutal honesty of Mr. Krabs perfectly captures that moment when the idealistic facade crumbles and the true motivation emerges. Let's be real - nobody endures differential equations at 3 AM because they love pain. The promise of a comfortable salary is the secret ingredient in every engineer's coffee!

Electricity's spiciest family drama! The Amp is literally stuck in a circuit with Ohm giving resistance from above while desperately calling on its stepbrother Volt for help. This is basically Ohm's Law (V=IR) reimagined as an electrical soap opera where voltage, current, and resistance are caught in a dysfunctional relationship. The Amp needs more voltage to overcome the resistance, but Ohm is just sitting there being all resistive and judgmental. Every electrical engineer has flashbacks to this exact scenario during troubleshooting!