Patent Applications Be Like

Behold, the morning ritual of the mechanical engineer – waking up with the smug superiority that only comes from believing your discipline is the only "real" engineering. While electrical engineers are playing with invisible electrons and civil engineers are just stacking bricks, mechanical engineers are designing the machines that make the world turn... or so they tell themselves. The tribal warfare between engineering disciplines is practically a required course. Chemical engineers think they're chemists who can do math, software engineers think they're not just glorified typists, and aerospace engineers are just mechanical engineers who couldn't handle being on the ground. Meanwhile, physicists watch from a distance, wondering why anyone would choose to apply their equations to something as mundane as reality.

Once you understand the second law of thermodynamics, you're cursed with the knowledge that everything—yes, everything —tends toward disorder. That smug dog knows what's up. While his human's girlfriend spins fairy tales about their "perfect" relationship, he's sitting there like a furry physicist, silently judging with the cold, hard truth: entropy always increases in a closed system. Relationships included. The universe is basically saying "nice try, but I've got chaos planned for everyone." Engineers don't get the luxury of delusion—we just calculate the inevitable decay rate.

The ultimate scientific rejection letter! Some poor soul thought they cracked the code to space travel with... wait for it... Coke and Mentos rockets! 🚀 NASA's response is pure gold - professionally shutting down the idea that a middle school science fair experiment could revolutionize space travel. The part about "a shit load of Coke" being scientifically inadequate has me dying! 💀 And the cherry on top? The applicant confused Buzz Aldrin with Buzz Lightyear AND glued mints to their application! This is what happens when your space knowledge comes exclusively from TikTok and YouTube pranks instead of, you know, actual physics.

Ever notice how engineering students spend years learning complex physics and mathematics only to graduate and design a sink that splashes water EVERYWHERE? 💦 This sink design is the perfect representation of that gap between theory and practice! The tiny basin paired with that aggressive faucet is basically saying "I understand fluid dynamics in theory, but I choose violence in practice." This is what happens when you optimize for aesthetics instead of function - congratulations, you've created a device that ensures everyone leaves the bathroom looking like they've been swimming! 🏊‍♂️

Poor Homer is the lone "coulomb" in a bar full of "mA·h" (milliampere-hours)! This is basically the electrical engineering version of being the only sober person at a party. While everyone else is measuring battery capacity, Homer's stuck with measuring electric charge. It's like showing up to a basketball game with hockey equipment. The electrical engineers in the room are probably cackling right now while the rest of us wonder why Homer looks so uncomfortable. Next time you feel out of place, just remember—at least you're not a fundamental unit trapped in a sea of derived measurements!

Engineering exams have evolved dramatically! Grandma's reminiscing about the ancient ritual of pencil-and-paper Professional Engineering civil exams, while her descendant gently suggests it's time for medication and rest. Those PE exams were legendary 8-hour marathons of structural calculations and code compliance that could break even the strongest engineer's spirit. Today's engineers face digital testing platforms but still suffer the same existential dread. Some things in engineering never change—just the delivery method of the trauma!