More Proof Birds Are Government Drones

The pandemic timeline according to conspiracy theorists! First, classes move online because of COVID. Then, mysteriously, "COVID engineers" graduate and enter the workforce. And suddenly—planes start falling out of the sky? Twice?! Because obviously, engineering education works better in person when you can physically touch the laws of aerodynamics. This perfectly captures how conspiracy minds connect completely unrelated events with imaginary causation. Remote learning → unqualified engineers → aviation disasters. Next they'll blame the microchips in vaccines for making pilots forget how to fly!

Behold! The ultimate scientific experiment that flat-earthers have been hiding from us all along—a spirit level on dirt. Because clearly, if this 3-inch plastic tool shows a bubble in the middle, the entire 24,901-mile circumference of Earth must be flat! Next up: proving the ocean isn't wet by staying dry in your bathtub. The beauty of this "proof" is its elegant simplicity—just ignore pesky things like gravity, curvature mathematics, satellite imagery, and literally every astronaut who's ever existed. But hey, who needs centuries of scientific consensus when you've got a $2 hardware store purchase?

Ever notice how conspiracy theorists who claim the moon landing was staged can identify a rocket's components but somehow miss the entire concept of orbital mechanics ? That's like understanding how a car's engine works but insisting roads are a government hoax. The Saturn V wasn't just a fancy tube with fire coming out the bottom—it was precisely engineered to escape Earth's gravitational pull and deliver humans to lunar orbit. But sure, NASA hired Stanley Kubrick and forgot to tell him how rockets actually function.

The perfect rebuttal to "subtle energy isn't real" - just show them a complex diagram of human energy fields that looks scientific enough to make Einstein question his life choices. Nothing says "I've done my research" like a rainbow-colored human outline with geometric patterns that would make any quantum physicist develop a sudden interest in changing careers. The "Unencrypted Universe" watermark really seals the deal. Because nothing proves pseudoscience like mysterious branding.

The calculus conspiracy has finally been exposed! What they're showing is the chain rule for derivatives being simplified by canceling out the "dx" terms like they're fractions - which is mathematically illegal but somehow gives the right answer. It's like cooking meth but for differential equations. Math professors have been screaming "YOU CAN'T CANCEL THE DIFFERENTIALS LIKE THAT!" for centuries while secretly knowing it works anyway. Big Calculus doesn't want you questioning their authority!

Remember when science was all about groundbreaking achievements? The 90s gave us Dolly the sheep (first cloned mammal!) and Mars Pathfinder rolling around the red planet. Fast forward to today, and scientists are stuck explaining that the Earth isn't actually flat to people with internet access and high school diplomas. It's like watching Nobel Prize winners argue with someone who thinks gravity is "just a theory." The scientific regression is real—we went from splitting atoms to debating shapes!