Correlation Doesn't Equal Causation: The Pyramid Edition

The magical potato vaccine detox! Because obviously, tubers have evolved specifically to extract "toxins" from injection sites through some kind of starchy osmosis. Next up: using bananas as WiFi boosters and cucumbers to absorb student loan debt. The real genius is the second comment - sometimes it's easier to let people believe potatoes have supernatural powers than to explain basic immunology. When your scientific explanation gets trumped by root vegetables, you know you've reached peak internet.

Breaking news: Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle has been officially defeated by alien technology! According to this quantum physicist who's clearly having a psychic breakdown, you can know both the position AND momentum of a particle—but only if you've been to Area 51. Werner Heisenberg is rolling in his grave while simultaneously not rolling in his grave until observed. The government doesn't want you to know that quantum mechanics works differently once you've seen the inside of a UFO. Next week: how to violate the laws of thermodynamics using nothing but a paperclip and alien telepathy!

NASA's been pulling the wool over our eyes for DECADES! The lunar surface isn't made of regolith—it's clearly a giant floating seal with helium-induced buoyancy! Those craters? Whiskers! The Sea of Tranquility? Just a particularly smooth spot on our celestial marine mammal! Think about it—have you ever seen the moon and a seal in the same room? EXACTLY. Next time there's a full moon, listen carefully... you might just hear a distant "arf arf" echoing through the cosmos!

When biblical prophecy meets molecular biology! This street preacher has inadvertently created the perfect fusion of religious fervor and transcription biology. Messenger RNA (mRNA) actually is the cellular messenger that carries genetic instructions from DNA to ribosomes for protein synthesis—not exactly demonic, unless you consider how it betrayed us all during that one group project where your proteins folded incorrectly. The irony is delicious: while he's warning about apocalyptic marks, biologists are thinking "well, technically mRNA does mark which proteins to make." Imagine this guy's reaction if someone told him about CRISPR—he'd probably need to add a second sign!

Taking the red pill of reality here! Facts don't negotiate with feelings, and gravity doesn't pause because you're having a bad hair day. The universe operates on laws that continue working whether you believe in them or not. Jump off a building while denying gravity? The sidewalk will quickly schedule a peer review of your hypothesis. Science is that friend who tells you the brutal truth instead of what you want to hear.

The perfect gotcha question for flat-Earthers! If Earth were actually flat, digging a slanted hole would just send you out the bottom of the disc (hope you packed a space suit). But on our spherical planet, a perfectly angled tunnel through Earth's diameter would actually emerge on the opposite side—though you'd need to overcome that pesky molten core and crushing pressure first. The red line in the image shows the hypothetical tunnel path. Next flat Earth meeting challenge: bring a really, really long shovel and let's settle this debate once and for all!