Finally, the truth revealed—ancient monuments are just Earth's guitar frets. Turns out our planet has been a giant electric guitar all along, which explains why dinosaurs went extinct. They couldn't handle the sick riffs. The pyramids, Stonehenge, Easter Island, and that random spot in Uruguay? Just strategic placement for when the cosmos wants to play "Stairway to Heaven." Next time there's an earthquake, that's just Earth tuning up before a galactic concert.