Name Every Planet... Or Else

Just when you thought we'd escaped flat Earth theories, someone's now questioning the moon's geometry! The exasperated "Don't" response perfectly captures how astronomers feel every time celestial bodies get geometrically challenged. Fun fact: we've known the moon is spherical since ancient Greece when people noticed its circular shadow during lunar eclipses. Even with modern technology sending back thousands of images from multiple angles, conspiracy theorists still find ways to question established science. The mental gymnastics required to believe in a flat moon would win gold medals if Olympic events included "Ignoring Observable Reality."

The staircase of physics education in one perfect image. That first step into calculus seems manageable enough. Differential equations? Sure, we can handle that. Probability and statistics? Getting steeper but still climbing. Then suddenly—black hole physics. The mathematical equivalent of trying to leap across the Grand Canyon after a light jog. Everyone wants to understand how spacetime warps without learning tensor calculus first. That's like wanting to perform brain surgery because you successfully put a Band-Aid on once.

The entire world: *uses logical, standardized metric measurements* America: "This asteroid is approximately 18 walruses long!" Only in the US would we measure cosmic objects using marine mammals instead of kilometers! The stubborn refusal to join the metric system has created this beautiful chaos where NASA—yes, the rocket scientists—are quoted using "walruses" as a unit of measurement. Next up: black holes measured in washing machines and solar flares in football fields!

Oh look, another "mind-blowing" fact that's about as accurate as my undergrads' first lab reports. H₂O has exactly TWO hydrogen atoms, while our solar system has, you know, billions of stars. Someone clearly failed both chemistry AND astronomy in spectacular fashion. Next they'll tell us that drinking this glass of water will make you an expert in quantum physics. The real amazing fact? That someone created this and thought "yes, this is scientifically sound information ready for public consumption." I'd give this an F minus, but I'm feeling generous today.

The beautiful irony of conspiracy logic! First they claim the moon landing was staged, then they hit you with "you believe in the moon?" It's like arguing with someone who keeps moving the goalposts to another dimension entirely. I've spent 40 years teaching astronomy, and nothing prepared me for people who think NASA is simultaneously incompetent enough to fake a landing AND powerful enough to maintain a planetary hologram. Next they'll tell you gravity is just a feeling you get when the government turns down the simulation settings.

Ever spent hundreds on a telescope only to realize you can't see your zodiac sign? 😂 This meme brilliantly roasts the confusion between astronomy (the scientific study of celestial objects) and astrology (the belief that star positions affect human lives). It's like buying a microscope to find your personality type! The punchline works because telescopes are expensive gateway devices into the astronomy rabbit hole, but they're absolutely useless for checking if Mercury is in retrograde or if you're compatible with a Sagittarius.