I'm Just There For Attendance

The eternal struggle between mathematical purity and statistical pragmatism! Pure mathematicians pride themselves on elegant proofs and logical necessity, while statisticians are over here like "n=30 is good enough for Central Limit Theorem, don't @ me." The magical number 30 appears everywhere in statistics because it's roughly where sample distributions become normal enough for parametric tests. No deep mathematical reason - just a practical threshold where things start working. It's the statistical equivalent of "eh, close enough" and I'm dying at how perfectly Patrick represents every stats professor I've ever had.

Darwin's finches really do be flexing their adaptive radiation while this student procrastinates. Those beaks evolved for different food sources, but now they're just judging your life choices. Classic case of survival of the fittest vs. survival of the "I'll just study five minutes before the exam." The irony of skipping a genetics final to post about the textbook example of natural selection isn't lost on these birds. Their specialized beaks might help them survive the Galápagos, but they won't help you pass that exam.

Santa's bringing mathematical clarity to town! The "naughty" expression (6 ÷ 2(1 + 2)) is the infamous math problem that breaks the internet every few months. Without proper notation, it's ambiguously evil—is it (6÷2)×3=9 or 6÷(2×3)=1? The "nice" versions eliminate the ambiguity by clearly showing the intended grouping. This is why mathematicians drink heavily during holiday parties. Remember kids: parentheses are free, and they prevent family arguments better than avoiding politics at dinner.

Pour one out for the temperature conversion casualties! 🫡 The classic blunder of thinking 37°C = 300K has claimed many science students over the years. For those who slept through class: you need to add 273.15 to Celsius to get Kelvin (so 37°C is actually 310.15K). That's a fever-inducing 37-degree difference! The saluting cat, crying guy, and military men are all paying their solemn respects to everyone who bombed their thermodynamics exam with this rookie mistake. Trust me, even science professors still have nightmares about this one!

The YouTube algorithm really knows how to kick an engineer while they're down. Nothing says "welcome to your career" like being recommended videos on loneliness right after watching engineering content. The perfect digital reminder that while you're busy calculating stress loads and designing circuits, your social circuit might be experiencing some downtime. The algorithm has spoken: your relationship with differential equations is more stable than your relationship status. At least your CAD models will never ghost you.

Physics and engineering students looking at someone calling scientific calculator functions "useless"? *nervous laughter intensifies* 🧪 Those circled buttons (sin, cos, tan, log) are the bread and butter of anyone who's ever had to calculate the trajectory of a projectile at 2AM while questioning their life choices! Without them, we'd still be drawing triangles in the sand like cavemen with protractors! The real useless button is the one that turns the calculator on. Once you enter STEM, that thing never gets turned off. It becomes a permanent extension of your trembling, caffeine-fueled hand!