Time Travelers' Guide To Scientific Spouse Preservation

Someone took Einstein's famous equation and turned it into the world's nerdiest dad joke. E = mc² + AI, where E is "Elephant," m is "Mass," c² is "Cauchy" (a mathematician, not the actual speed of light squared), A is "Among," and I is "Impostor." And they credited it to "Augustin-Louis Cauchy" instead of Einstein! The real crime here isn't butchering physics—it's that 3,140 people (notice that's π × 1000) gave this mathematical monstrosity a heart. This is what happens when you let physicists work from home too long. They start seeing Among Us references in relativity equations and nobody's there to stop them.

The mathematical battlefield is brutal. Leonhard Euler, the Swiss mathematician who apparently named half the concepts in calculus, stands heroically blocking a barrage of mathematical notation while math students peacefully slumber. No need to learn multiple mathematicians' names when Euler's got constants, identities, formulas, and theorems covering everything from complex analysis to graph theory. The man's name appears so frequently in textbooks that students can just mumble "probably Euler" on exams and have a decent chance of being correct.

Oh sweet summer undergrad! You thought running experiments was the fun part? *cackles maniacally* The REAL relationship-breaker in science isn't collecting samples at 3 AM - it's the soul-crushing weeks of data analysis afterward! Nothing says "I love you" like telling someone they've only completed 50% of their scientific journey. That tearful smile in the last panel? That's the face of someone who just realized they'll be spending their weekend with spreadsheets instead of actual sheets!

History textbooks giving Chinese and Roman scientific achievements a high-five while Islamic contributions are drowning in the deep end. Typical Eurocentric curriculum moment. The Islamic Golden Age (8th-14th centuries) gave us algebra, algorithms, and advanced medicine while Western academics pretend not to see it. Just your standard historical erasure happening in broad daylight. Next thing you'll tell me is that coffee wasn't invented during desperate all-nighters at the House of Wisdom in Baghdad.

Newton's sitting there like "I can calculate how fast the apple falls, but what's the invisible force pulling it down? Some kind of cosmic ghostly middleman?" Fast forward 200+ years and Einstein's like "Hold my chalk! It's not a force at all—space itself is curved by mass!" Newton basically left a 200-year cliffhanger that Einstein finally resolved by showing gravity isn't a mysterious force acting at a distance, but rather mass telling spacetime how to bend and spacetime telling matter how to move. The ultimate scientific callback joke that took two centuries to deliver the punchline!

Mendeleev: *creates revolutionary organizational system to show elemental relationships and patterns* Chemistry teachers centuries later: "Alright class, by Friday I want you to memorize ALL 118 ELEMENTS, their atomic weights, electron configurations, and where they sit on this table. There will be a quiz!" Poor Dmitri is rolling in his grave fast enough to create a new element! His face says it all - the ultimate scientific betrayal! His brilliant work meant to SAVE brains has become the very torture device he sought to prevent. The educational irony would be hilarious if we hadn't all suffered through it ourselves!