The Scientific Risk Assessment Protocol

Oh the HORROR of paradigm shifts! Poor classical physicist is sweating bullets when faced with Einstein's revolutionary idea that gravity isn't a force pulling objects together, but rather mass causing spacetime to curve like a bowling ball on a mattress! Newton's sitting in the afterlife going "I had a good 200-year run before this curvy spacetime nonsense!" The button choice is basically asking: "Would you like your physics Newtonian or mind-bendingly relativistic today?" *maniacal laughter* Choosing either one sends our 19th-century friend into existential freefall faster than an apple hitting his powdered wig!

Nothing says "welcome to statistical mechanics" quite like casually mentioning that its pioneers killed themselves! That highlighted passage is the academic equivalent of a horror movie jump scare. Just imagine flipping through your textbook, excited about perfect gas laws, when suddenly—BAM—existential crisis served with equations. The author's suggestion to "approach the subject cautiously" hits different after that intro. Statistical mechanics: where the entropy of your mental state increases with each page turn.

A brilliant wordplay that would make any taxonomist chuckle in the break room. Einstein's theory of relativity states that measurements of various quantities are relative to the velocities of observers—hence "everything is relative." Meanwhile, Darwin's evolutionary theory establishes that all species share common ancestry—so technically, "everyone's a relative." The scientific equivalent of your uncle's Thanksgiving pun, except this one actually deserves a Nobel Prize.

The evolution of atomic theory, as explained by cookies. From Dalton's solid sphere to Thomson's "plum pudding" chocolate chip, then Rutherford's nuclear model with its fancy decorative swirls, and finally Bohr's planetary model with concentric rings. Turns out physicists were just hungry the whole time. Next breakthrough in quantum mechanics expected after someone brings donuts to the lab.

The engineering gatekeeping is strong with this one! The meme brilliantly roasts those anime fans who claim to love Avatar: The Last Airbender without having read the "original manga"—which is actually just a collection of engineering textbooks on the four classical elements. It's the perfect jab at both engineering students who think their textbooks are the foundation of all knowledge and anime fans who flex their "purist" credentials. As if mastering thermodynamics somehow makes you a true Avatar fan! Next thing you'll tell me is that you can't appreciate chemistry without reading the periodic table in its original Japanese.

The mathematical rebellion is real! This "proof" hilariously satirizes the famous (and legitimate) result that claims the sum of all positive integers equals -1/12—a mind-bending conclusion from analytical continuation in string theory. The punchline is in the absurd logic: "Why 13? Because I like it and this is my paper." Pure mathematical anarchy! It's the equivalent of saying "2+2=5 because I'm having a bad day." The creator brilliantly mocks how easily mathematical notation can be manipulated to "prove" nonsense when you ignore the rules. Even the smug "Q.E.D." at the end (Latin for "thus it has been demonstrated") is the chef's kiss of mathematical satire. Mathematicians everywhere are either crying or laughing uncontrollably.