Schrödinger's Funeral: Simultaneously Dead And Attending

Newton judging your Instagram habits from beyond the grave is peak historical fiction. The man who invented calculus while social distancing during a plague would absolutely have spent 18 hours a day on TikTok if he'd had the chance. Let's not forget this is the same guy who stuck a needle in his own eye socket "for science" and spent years trying to turn lead into gold. Sure, Isaac, I'll solve differential equations right after I finish watching this cat video.

Engineering students sobbing their way through partial differential equations while art majors watch movies? Yep, that's college in a nutshell! The Navier-Stokes equations are basically the final boss of fluid dynamics - they describe how viscous fluids flow and are notoriously difficult to solve analytically. Meanwhile, art students get to analyze Ryan Gosling dancing with Emma Stone. The mathematical trauma is real! Those equations govern everything from blood flow to weather patterns, but good luck solving them without having an existential crisis in your car first. Engineering degree = tears with mathematical notation.

That moment when your physics professor asks you to demonstrate the right-hand thumb rule and your brain goes completely blank! 🧠💨 The rule is actually super handy for figuring out the direction of magnetic fields around current-carrying wires - point your thumb in the direction of the current, and your curled fingers show you which way the magnetic field wraps around. But in the heat of the moment? Total mental shutdown, and all you can do is awkwardly stick your thumb up like "is this science?" Physics students everywhere just felt this in their souls!

The humble space heater—boldly defying the laws of thermodynamics with both ON switches flipped! While physicists cry about Carnot efficiency and entropy, this bad boy is operating at a confident 500% efficiency. Those glowing elements aren't just transferring heat—they're transferring attitude . In thermodynamics class, we learn that perfect efficiency is impossible, but nobody told this heater. It's basically giving the second law of thermodynamics the middle finger while warming your toes. The universe demands energy degradation, and this heater responds: "Watch me turn electricity into both heat AND audacity."

The temporal relativity of exam periods - where professors exist in a parallel universe where 58 minutes is "plenty of time." The classic physics professor paradox: they can derive complex equations describing the fabric of spacetime but somehow can't comprehend why students need the full hour for an exam they designed. Meanwhile, poor Andrew down there is questioning his entire existence after finishing a 58-minute nightmare in 55 minutes only to be told it was supposed to be easy. The professor's time perception is the real quantum phenomenon worth studying here.

This is peak academic humor right here! Everyone's turning their field's concepts into punchlines: The philosopher questions the very purpose of jokes (so meta!) The civil engineer's joke is "under construction" 🏗️ The economist's joke isn't "in demand" (supply and demand, get it?) The statistician's joke isn't "significant" (p-value party!) The geographer can't find where their joke is And the programmer's joke has an error in the code And the title references Schrödinger's cat - that physics joke is simultaneously funny and not funny until you observe it! 😂