Nuclear Reactors Are Just Big Steam Engines

The perfect electrical rejection. In this masterpiece of physics humor, non-conductive materials are literally rejecting the advances of free electrons. The title "Mho=0" refers to conductance (measured in mhos, the inverse of resistance) being zero - which is precisely what happens in insulators. Those poor electrons keep trying to flow, but insulators just won't let them pass. It's basically the physics equivalent of being left on read.

You've committed the ultimate quantum crime! Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle states you can't precisely know both a particle's position AND velocity simultaneously. Yet here you are, flaunting the laws of physics with your speedometer (velocity) and GPS (position) combo. The disappointment on Quantum Heisenberg's face says it all—you've broken the universe's most fundamental speed trap. Next you'll tell me you're observing Schrödinger's cat without collapsing its wavefunction!

Ever tried calculating the probability of finding a matching sock? The so-called "Law of Infinite Probability" suggests that if you wait long enough, your dryer will eventually stop eating your socks and actually fold your laundry! Statistically speaking, this has the same odds as a monkey typing Shakespeare or finding intelligent life in my roommate's bedroom. Scientists estimate you'll witness this phenomenon approximately never ± a few eternities.

Four penguins relaxing on beach towels while representing different wave equations. It's what happens when physicists go on vacation - they can't help but bring their work along. The sine wave is basic, the exponential is fancy, the Fourier transform is showing off, and the wave function is just quantum chilling. Nobody told them you're supposed to disconnect from work at the beach.

You'd be distressed too if someone asked about your frozen helium! At -269°C (4.2 Kelvin), helium has the lowest freezing point of ANY element, making it nearly impossible to solidify without extreme lab conditions. Trying to freeze helium is basically the cryogenic equivalent of trying to herd cats while blindfolded on a unicycle. Even liquid helium is bonkers enough at -269°C! So yeah, if someone casually asks if your helium is frozen yet, they're either a quantum physicist with a twisted sense of humor or they're mocking your impossible lab goals. No wonder our guy is "far from OK" - he's probably been trying to reach absolute zero for MONTHS!

Newton's first law of motion, reduced to its most basic form. The man spent years developing calculus and revolutionizing physics just to formalize what my coffee mug does every morning until I knock it over. Revolutionary insight or stating the obvious? The line between genius and "duh" is apparently thinner than the pages of Principia Mathematica .