Newton's First Law Of Dating

French Revolution meets Chemistry 101! Helium introduces itself as a "noble gas" to a French aristocrat who takes it literally... and sends it to the guillotine. Bad move, buddy. When you behead an atom containing protons and neutrons, you get nuclear fission—and that mushroom cloud is nature's way of saying "I told you I was noble, you powdered-wig nitwit." Next time, maybe brush up on your periodic table before executing elements.

Behind every Nobel Prize in physics is just a big dog staring at tiny particles. Billions in funding for CERN and the LHC, and what do we get? Two physicists pointing at dog-shaped objects saying "Look! Particles!" Next time your grant proposal gets rejected, remember that the Higgs boson was probably discovered by someone's golden retriever playing with subatomic toys. The real breakthrough technology in quantum physics? Apparently kibble and a good nose.

The perfect fusion of paleontology and physics! This equation brilliantly breaks down "velociraptor" into its scientific components: distance over time. In physics, velocity equals distance divided by time, and this meme cleverly substitutes "raptor" for each variable. Whoever created this clearly has their degree in Jurassic mathematics. Next time you're being chased by a prehistoric predator, remember - it's not just a dinosaur, it's a fundamental physics equation with teeth!

Behold, the classic "let me jump-start my brain" approach! Someone's attempting to apply basic electrical principles to human biology by connecting a 9V battery to their nose. Spoiler alert: your neurons operate on millivolts, not the 9,000 millivolts this battery's packing! The human nervous system uses electrochemical signaling with sodium-potassium pumps maintaining a resting potential of about -70mV across neuronal membranes. Connecting a battery to your nose won't make you smarter or more awake - it'll just give you a weird tingly sensation and possibly a small chemical burn. The "wakey wakey" caption perfectly captures that 3 AM desperation when your neurotransmitters have officially gone on strike. Next time, maybe try coffee instead of turning your olfactory system into a circuit board?

Chemistry students asking why their professor wears a mask is peak academic innocence. Little do they know that behind every scientific discipline is a chaotic mess of "weird rules and exceptions" that would make your brain melt. Chemistry is just the gateway drug. Once you peek behind quantum physics, you'll understand why some professors develop that thousand-yard stare. Trust me, there's a reason we keep certain knowledge locked away—your sanity depends on it. Twenty years into teaching and I'm still putting on the mask before explaining orbital hybridization. It's not to protect me from chemicals—it's to protect students from seeing my soul leave my body.

This Venn diagram is basically a dating profile for STEM fields. Physicists are out here assuming penguins are perfect cylinders because apparently reality is just too messy. Engineers decided π=3 because who needs those pesky decimals anyway? And mathematicians are defining 'e' with limits that make normal people's brains melt. The overlap zones are pure gold - physicists and engineers bonding over "sin x = x" (which is only true for tiny angles, but why let accuracy get in the way of a good approximation?). Meanwhile, everyone's using random units and gravity is just "about 10" because who has time for 9.8? And programmers? Off in their own little world with "x = x + 1" which makes mathematicians scream internally. The chemists got a tiny circle because they're too busy making things explode to participate in these shenanigans. Notice how "single" sits right in the middle of physicists, engineers, and mathematicians. Coincidence? I think not.