I Have All Of You "Physicists" On My Radar

Protesting the laws of physics is like trying to legislate gravity away! The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that entropy (disorder) in an isolated system always increases over time. These protesters might as well be demanding that water flow uphill or that dropped objects float instead of fall. The satirical headline brilliantly mocks science denial by portraying it as attempting to overturn fundamental physical laws through political action. Next up: lobbying against conservation of energy and demanding that E=mc² be revised to something more convenient for their worldview! Remember folks, the universe doesn't care about your opinions or your votes. The laws of thermodynamics will continue working regardless of how many strongly worded signs you make.

Nikola Tesla casually plugged into a wall outlet before rock bands were even a concept. The electrical pioneer was probably just enjoying some alternating current/direct current through those primitive earbuds while the rest of humanity was still arguing about which electrical standard would win. When you've invented wireless transmission, you get to listen to music that won't exist for another century. That's just how temporal electrical engineering works.

The equation Q = πPr²/8ηl is the Poiseuille equation, which describes laminar fluid flow through a tube. Our yellow friend here is having an existential crisis trying to pronounce "Poiseuille" — a French name that's basically the final boss of physics pronunciation. After several failed attempts (POS-, POIU-, POSI-), he gives up in frustration. Every physics student has been there. You understand the concept perfectly, can solve the equations flawlessly, but then the professor calls on you to explain "Schwarzschild radius" or "Bose-Einstein condensate" and suddenly you're a babbling mess. The universal language of science, indeed.

Undergrads trip over a rake. PhDs coordinate a synchronized extreme sports competition with said rake. The academic evolution is beautiful, really. In undergrad, you make simple mistakes like forgetting a negative sign. By PhD, you're deriving elegant proofs that accidentally violate the laws of thermodynamics. Your advisor just sighs and mutters "at least the PowerPoint animations were nice." The fancier the degree, the more spectacular the intellectual faceplant.

Breaking news: Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle has been officially defeated by alien technology! According to this quantum physicist who's clearly having a psychic breakdown, you can know both the position AND momentum of a particle—but only if you've been to Area 51. Werner Heisenberg is rolling in his grave while simultaneously not rolling in his grave until observed. The government doesn't want you to know that quantum mechanics works differently once you've seen the inside of a UFO. Next week: how to violate the laws of thermodynamics using nothing but a paperclip and alien telepathy!

Remember when sci-fi authors actually calculated submarine buoyancy? Now they just invent elements like "VIBRANIUM" and call it a day. The evolution of lazy worldbuilding is painfully accurate. Classic sci-fi writers would spend months researching physics principles to create plausible scenarios. Modern writers? "It's made of special space metal that defies all known laws of physics because... reasons." The decline from muscular Doge to weak Doge perfectly captures how technical rigor in science fiction has been replaced by handwaving and marketable buzzwords. Next bestseller: "The protagonist survived because... quantum."