I Built A Quantum Computer Made From Schrödinger Cats

The perfect illustration of particle physics apathy! While the electron is absolutely losing its mind in an electric field (quite literally being thrown around like a cosmic rag doll), the neutron just stands there with that smug "not my problem" energy. Why? Because neutrons have zero electric charge, making them completely immune to electric fields. Meanwhile, electrons with their negative charge are like that friend who can't handle their coffee - bouncing off the walls at the slightest electromagnetic provocation. Next time someone tries to drag you into their drama, just channel your inner neutron. Charge-neutral and unbothered.

Capacitors are the rebels of the electronics world! While your physics teacher is droning on about closed circuits, these sassy components are like "Rules? What rules?" Capacitors store electric charge between two plates with a gap in the middle—technically breaking the "closed loop" rule but still functioning perfectly in circuits. They're basically the cool kids who found a loophole in the system! Next time you see a circuit diagram, just imagine these VeggieTales-looking capacitors smugly introducing themselves as the exception to the rule. Electronics isn't just about following instructions—it's about breaking them with style!

The tiny sliver for actual Greeks is killing me! From α to ω, mathematicians and physicists have colonized the Greek alphabet so thoroughly that poor Greeks barely get to use their own letters anymore. Every equation looks like it's having an identity crisis - "Am I calculating fluid dynamics or just ordering a gyro?" Meanwhile, engineering students are frantically googling "how to pronounce χ" before presentations. The real question is whether Greeks feel proud or slightly annoyed that their alphabet has become the universal language of "look how smart I am."

Nothing screams "freshman physics enthusiast" quite like correcting your grandmother's medical advice with fluid dynamics. That wild-eyed conspiracy board energy while mansplaining Bernoulli's principle to someone who's survived 80 years without it. For the curious nerds: Bernoulli's principle actually states that as fluid velocity increases, pressure decreases. So technically, blood flowing faster through narrower vessels does create lower local pressure (though overall hypertension is way more complicated). But grandma doesn't need your semester's worth of knowledge while she's just trying to remind you to take your medication.

The ultimate fusion flex-off! Nature's OG reactor (the Sun) has been casually smashing hydrogen atoms together for 10 billion years without breaking a sweat, while humanity's experimental reactors are celebrating their 22-minute achievement like they just won the science Olympics. It's like watching your toddler proudly show you they can tie their shoes while standing next to Michael Jordan. Progress is progress though - maybe in another billion years we'll catch up!

Oh sweet neutrons of madness! Replacing someone's hydrogen atoms with deuterium is the kind of prank only a deranged chemist would dream up! Your body contains roughly 10^28 hydrogen atoms, and swapping them for deuterium (hydrogen's heavier twin with an extra neutron) would make you approximately 10-15% heavier instantly! You'd sink in water, your biochemical reactions would slow down, and your proteins might fold differently. It's like turning someone into their own slightly broken doppelgänger! The victim would be walking around as a living, breathing chemistry experiment - technically still "human" but with atoms that vibrate to a completely different beat! Pure diabolical genius!