Also, "Landing" Sold Separately

That's some next-level "disclaimer energy" right there! The meme brilliantly mocks how physics gets oversimplified in cartoons and action movies. Sure, spreading out might increase drag coefficient (think skydiving position vs. pencil dive), but the rescuer diving "like a missile" to catch up faster? Pure Hollywood physics! In reality, two objects falling in the same gravitational field accelerate at identical rates regardless of mass (thanks, Galileo!). The "results may vary" disclaimer is basically code for "we're about to break several fundamental laws of physics and probably create at least two corpses instead of one." The fine print on gravity's terms of service is brutal.