We Have Been Tricked, Backstabbed And Most Probably Bamboozled!

This flowchart is what happens when career counselors have a mental breakdown. Engineering? Only if you're "good with things." Chemistry? Congratulations on your future as a "fussy pedant." And let's not forget Computer Science, perfect for those who prefer "slow, indirect evil" over the more efficient varieties. The beautiful part is how it nails the existential crisis of every STEM student. "Why do you want to major in a STEM field?" Options include "curiosity" (adorable), "to save the planet" (delusional), or my personal favorite, the dawning realization that STEM was supposed to involve actual plants for Biology majors. After 30 years of teaching, I can confirm this is approximately 87% accurate. The missing 13% is the path where you choose your major based on which department has the least uncomfortable chairs in the lecture hall.

Computer teachers living in a binary world where 1+1 doesn't equal 2, but equals 10! This is peak programmer humor showcasing how decimal and binary number systems clash. In binary, 1+1 really does equal 10 (which is decimal 2) because there's no "2" digit in binary—you carry the 1 to the next column. Regular math teachers would have an existential crisis seeing this, but CS folks are nodding smugly right now.

The beautiful irony of claiming machine learning as your strength while demonstrating exactly how it fails. First you give a completely wrong answer (0 instead of 15), then after being corrected, you stubbornly repeat "It's 15" regardless of the actual question. Congratulations, you've perfectly replicated how machine learning models work—they don't actually understand math, they just pattern-match previous inputs and outputs with zero comprehension. Next time someone tells you AI will take all our jobs, show them this and remind them that computers are still basically fancy rocks we tricked into thinking.

Students thanking a long-dead French mathematician is peak calculus energy! Guillaume de l'Hôpital didn't just give us fancy wigs and aristocratic vibes—he gave us l'Hôpital's Rule , the emergency room for indeterminate limits (0/0 or ∞/∞) that's been rescuing desperate calculus students since 1696. Nothing says "mathematical hero worship" like thanking a guy who basically paid someone else (Johann Bernoulli) to figure out the math, slapped his name on it, and has been saving GPAs for 300+ years. The beard guy is all of us at 3 AM before the final, whispering gratitude to a portrait we've never actually seen before that moment.

The TRAUMA of vector calculus strikes again! This poor soul has mastered so many right-hand rules that their brain has short-circuited into total hand confusion. It's like when you've spent 14 straight hours figuring out cross products, curl, and magnetic fields, and suddenly your fingers don't even feel like they belong to your body anymore. Your thumb points in the direction of the magnetic field, your index finger follows the current, your middle finger... wait, which one was that again? BRAIN MELTDOWN COMPLETE. Even NASCAR drivers would find this easier than keeping track of which finger goes where after your 80th right-hand rule application!

The square root of x is having an identity crisis. It's like, "Am I the half-power of x? The reciprocal of the square root? WHO AM I?" This is what happens when math notation gets too clever for its own good. Mathematicians could have written x^(1/2), but no—they had to make it look like the square root was getting a radical haircut. No wonder students break into cold sweats during exams.