The Profound Art Of Making Simple Math Look Complicated

Behold, the terrifying threat of mathematical notation! Someone call Homeland Security—we've got a person wielding derivatives at 30,000 feet! The true terrorist organization isn't what you think... it's Al-Gebra , armed with weapons of math instruction! This poor mathematician was just trying to solve some differential equations (you know, those squiggly symbols with dx/dy that describe how things change) when Karen next to him thought he was plotting in Arabic. Turns out the only thing he was plotting was a function on the coordinate plane. The real crime here? Mathematical profiling.

Oh the beautiful harmony of divisibility rules... until number 7 crashes the party! The grid reads "2 THANK 3 YOU 4 ALL 5 FOR 6 HAVING 7 NOT YOU 8 EASY 9 DIVISIBILITY 10 RULES" - and it's hilariously accurate! While most numbers have simple tricks to check divisibility (divisible by 2 if the last digit is even, by 3 if sum of digits is divisible by 3, etc.), poor number 7 is the mathematical equivalent of that one friend who brings calculus problems to a pizza party. No clean trick, just pure mathematical chaos! That's why only the true math villains among us gleefully apply the test for 7 in calculations. The rest of us just grab a calculator and silently question our life choices.

When math meets physics and creates pure chaos! This student tried to outsmart the classic "division by zero" problem by using temperature conversion between Celsius and Kelvin. Nice try, Einstein Junior! The mathematical rule that division by zero is undefined remains undefeated, even when you try to sneak in temperature units. The teacher's Phoenix Wright-style shutdown is the mathematical equivalent of saying "your creativity is impressive, but your logic is a three-ring disaster!"

The evolution of physics students is a wild ride! First semester: "Yay, I can calculate how apples fall with Newton's cute little gravity equation!" Then senior year hits and suddenly you're staring at Einstein's field equations like "What fresh mathematical nightmare is this?!" The jump from Newton's tidy F=G(m₁m₂/r²) to those tensor monstrosities with their fancy Greek symbols is the physics equivalent of going from riding a tricycle to piloting the Space Shuttle. Your brain isn't just expanding—it's being warped across spacetime itself!

The third "war crime" is the square root of negative three divided by zero. For mathematicians, this is truly criminal—attempting to take the square root of a negative number (which gives you an imaginary number) and then dividing by zero (which is undefined). It's like breaking two fundamental mathematical laws simultaneously. The kind of thing that would make your calculus professor wake up in a cold sweat. I've seen graduate students develop eye twitches when encountering expressions like this on exams.

The mathematical equivalent of "the journey is longer than the destination." Spent three weeks proving the Intermediate Value Theorem only to find out it's just "if a continuous function goes from negative to positive, it must cross zero at some point." That's it. That's the theorem. The other 47 pages were just showing off.