The Mathematical Path Of Destruction

Content Ancient Mathematicians v2 I "This cannot be! The hypotenuse is incommensurable!" 'XK 19th Century Mathematicians " have created numbers where multiplication is non-commutative, but at what cost? (@12 Semitones Renaissance Mathematicians ×2 + 1=0 x2 = -1 × =V-1 "This does not make any sense at all. Is this even real?" Modern Mathematicians "I like infinitesimals and infinities in my numbers."

The 17th century equivalent of forgetting to hit "publish" on your blog post. Newton developed calculus and then just... kept it in a drawer somewhere while Leibniz swooped in with the same discovery and actually told people about it. Newton's shocked Pikachu face represents the universal reaction of anyone who's ever thought "I could have done that" after someone else gets famous for their idea. Publish or perish wasn't just a catchy academic slogan—it was a mathematical prophecy.

Mathematicians having an existential crisis over "probably"! 🙈 Poor Borel just wanted to explain probability basics, but the math community is like "EXCUSE ME?! It's EXACTLY 50 heads with a standard deviation of √(npq) = 5, and the probability approaches 0.0795 according to the central limit theorem!" Mathematicians don't do "probably" - they do "with 95% confidence intervals" or nothing at all! The monkey's face is every math student when their professor says "it's trivial to prove..."

Nothing says "trade war" like weaponizing economics with suspiciously precise formulas. That equation for calculating reciprocal tariffs looks like someone tried to mathematically justify why your avocados now cost $7. The elasticity is "near 2 in the long run" - much like my patience for economic policy papers that use Greek letters to sound smarter. They really set the price elasticity at 4 when real evidence suggests 2, which is basically the academic equivalent of doubling your recipe's spice measurements because you "feel like it might need more."

Nothing disrupts my commute quite like someone trying to philosophically invalidate zero. Look, zero literally represents "nothing" while simultaneously being something. It's the numerical equivalent of a quantum superposition state. Mathematicians spent centuries formalizing it precisely because counting "nothing" is actually pretty important. Next time someone tries this argument on the subway, just whisper "empty set" and watch them implode.

Prioritizing romantic escapades with the professor's offspring over calculating infinite series? Bold career move. A Riemann sum is actually a method for approximating the area under a curve—something any calculus student should be solving instead of, well, whatever "rimming her son" implies. That disapproving cat face perfectly captures the mix of horror and disappointment only achievable after years of academic tenure. Tenure doesn't prepare you for this level of boundary violation.