The Factorial Fallacy

The ultimate statistician's nightmare! Thanos here thinks he's discovered the perfect solution to exponential population growth—just snap half of everyone out of existence! What he doesn't realize is that with our current growth rate, we'd be back to pre-snap population levels in just ~40 years. That's the thing about exponential functions—they're relentless mathematical monsters! Look at that hockey-stick curve from 1800 onward... even cosmic genocide is just a temporary setback when you're dealing with exponential growth. Malthusian catastrophe averted for a few decades at most. Should've taken a population ecology course before collecting those Infinity Stones!

Behind closed doors, engineers are secretly performing mathematical witchcraft! That equation 5/π × 3 = 5 is gloriously, deliciously WRONG by any mathematical standard. But in engineering? If it works, it ships! Engineers aren't calculating reality—they're negotiating with it. "Dear Physics, I'll give you this safety factor if you promise not to collapse my bridge." The sacred art of approximation where π sometimes equals exactly 3 and gravity is just a polite suggestion. No wonder they keep the doors closed!

Engineers vs. mathematicians: the eternal academic divide. Engineers sobbing when nobody uses their invention is peak professional trauma. Meanwhile, pure mathematicians are out here playing 4D chess—one hoping their theorem remains forever useless, the other secretly praying it finds application. Nothing says "I've transcended material concerns" like developing math so abstract even you hope it stays theoretical. The purest form of intellectual nihilism.

Newton judging us from the 1600s with that epic wig and disapproving stare is peak historical shade. The man who invented calculus while in quarantine during a plague would absolutely roast our screen time habits. Funny thing is, Newton never said this - he was too busy discovering gravity after getting bonked by an apple to predict Instagram. And differential equations? He'd probably be solving them between TikTok scrolls just like the rest of us. Next time you're doom-scrolling, just remember Newton's actual third law: For every action of opening social media, there's an equal and opposite reaction of mathematical guilt.

Ever stared at an equation filled with Greek symbols and felt your soul leave your body? THIS IS YOUR DECODER RING! 🤓 From π meaning "either trivially simple or utterly impossible" to ω warning you that "you're going to die here among these equations," this chart perfectly captures the existential dread of every math student ever! My personal favorite: γ going "ZOOM PEW PEW [SPACE NOISES]" because nothing says "I've completely lost the plot" like imagining Greek letters making sci-fi sound effects. The mathematician who created this was clearly having a breakdown... or a breakthrough? Sometimes they're the same thing!

The graph perfectly captures the mathematician's eternal suffering. Something so visually obvious—that a circle has an inside and outside—requires the mathematical equivalent of climbing Everest barefoot to prove formally. Jordan's Curve Theorem: the mathematical community's way of saying "we need 30 pages of dense topology to confirm what a 5-year-old already knows." The next time someone tells you math is straightforward, show them this and watch their soul leave their body.