One Nation, Mathematically Indivisible

Ever notice how everyone knows addition and subtraction, but multiplication and division are the weird cousins nobody invites to parties? The top two are like the mainstream pop hits of math—easy to grasp, universally recognized. Meanwhile, multiplication and division are the experimental jazz tracks that make your brain do somersaults! For mathematicians, these four operations are their rock band supergroup—the Beatles of computation! Addition is the cheerful Paul McCartney, subtraction is the cool John Lennon, multiplication is the quiet George Harrison making everything more complex, and division is Ringo—always creating fractions and remainders when nobody asked for them!

The mathematical irony is just *chef's kiss*. Standing in the middle of a sigmoid curve and declaring everything looks exponential is like being in the eye of a hurricane and saying it's just a light breeze. The steepest part of a sigmoid is indeed nearly linear - that's literally the point! It's where the curve transitions from slow growth to plateau. This is the perfect metaphor for people who discover a trend halfway through and think they've spotted the next big thing. "Bitcoin's going to the moon!" Yeah, right after you bought at the inflection point. Next thing you know, you're a stick figure on a flattening curve wondering where all your money went.

Four years of quantum mechanics and advanced calculus, and what do you get? A physics degree that does zero work. The meme brilliantly illustrates the classic physics equation W = F·d·cos(θ), where if displacement (d) equals zero or the angle is 90°, the work done is precisely... nothing. Just like your career prospects! From graduation cap to McDonald's cap with a brief stint throwing your degree in the trash—at least the math checks out. Turns out understanding the fundamental forces of the universe doesn't force employers to hire you.

Oh sweet merciful CALCULUS! Someone mistook dy/dx for a secret terrorist code! 🤓 Imagine being so mathematically illiterate that differential equations look like national security threats! Next thing you know, they'll be arresting physicists for drawing free-body diagrams... "OFFICER, THAT MAN IS DRAWING ARROWS EVERYWHERE!" Mathematics: the only field where solving problems can get you interrogated at 30,000 feet. The real threat to society? People who can't tell the difference between Al-Qaeda and algebra!

When math majors discover pronouns, chaos ensues. This beautiful specimen takes "he/they" and applies fraction simplification to get "1/ty" because the "he" cancels out. Then someone takes it further by noting that "1/ty" mathematically represents "the inverse of thank you" – making these pronouns officially "ungrateful." This is what happens when you let mathematicians near social concepts. We reduce everything to equations and then wonder why we're eating lunch alone. The real joke is that we think we're being clever while everyone else is experiencing the mathematical equivalent of a dad joke.

The tragic decline of academic prowess post-graduation is too real! During exams, we're like Gandalf confidently declaring Maxwell's equations "quite simple" while solving complex electromagnetic problems. Fast forward a few months, and we're the disheveled wizard struggling to remember basic calculus we once mastered. The brain's remarkable ability to flush out knowledge the second you get your diploma is practically a law of nature itself. That feeling when you stare at an integral sign and wonder if it's some ancient elvish rune... pure physics student trauma!