All I Know Is I Know Nothing!

The mathematical hierarchy according to Reddit! At the bottom, we have the peasants with their "high school calculus" and the blasphemous "π=3" approximation (mathematicians just felt a disturbance in the force). Meanwhile, the enlightened few venture into the promised lands of topology and "real analysis" – as if the rest of us were doing fake analysis all along. Nothing screams mathematical superiority quite like a meme that simultaneously gatekeeps and validates your four years of theoretical math torture. The derivative of e^x equals e^x? Revolutionary stuff! Next you'll tell me water is wet and academic publishing is a functional system.

Mathematical notation just went full inception! The equation 4 i = 1 2 3 4 takes exponentiation to absurd new heights. It's like the mathematical equivalent of those Russian nesting dolls, except each doll is progressively more terrifying to calculate. Mathematicians worldwide are either crying or laughing uncontrollably. This is what happens when you let mathematicians work from home without supervision.

The quintessential MATLAB experience: you sacrifice hours debugging cryptic code while MATLAB rewards you with increasingly creative error messages. My personal favorite? "Array indices must be positive integers or logical values." Translation: your code is technically correct but MATLAB decided to interpret it in the most chaotic way possible. The relationship is purely transactional - your sanity for its mathematical prowess. Still beats writing those matrix operations by hand though.

Binary thinking meets probability theory and gets absolutely destroyed! The student's hilariously flawed logic reduces a 5-person race to a coin flip outcome—completely ignoring the actual 1/5 or 20% probability. That fish's expression perfectly captures the mathematical agony of every statistics professor who's had to explain why "either it happens or it doesn't" isn't how probability works. The statistical fallacy is so painful it's making a literal fish contemplate violence. Somewhere, Blaise Pascal and Pierre de Fermat are rolling in their graves.

The academic turf war just got spicier. In 1990, physicist Edward Witten snagged the Fields Medal (math's equivalent of a Nobel) despite being, you know, not a mathematician. Fast forward to 2024, and computer scientist Geoffrey Hinton wins a Physics Nobel despite not being a physicist. Mathematicians are experiencing that special feeling when someone raids your intellectual refrigerator and then wins awards for the sandwich they made with your ingredients. The disciplinary boundaries in science are becoming as theoretical as string theory itself.

The mathematical absurdity here is delicious. Six weeks contains 3,628,800 seconds, not 10. This is like claiming there are only 3 atoms in the universe or that pi equals exactly 3. The perfect representation of those "fun facts" that spread online with the confidence of someone who's never bothered to do basic arithmetic. Next time your student claims "I only studied for 10 seconds" before failing your exam, perhaps they're using Squidward's temporal measurement system.