The Engineering Student's Last Hope

The first question on this physics exam is straight out of Monty Python! Instead of asking about projectile motion or Newton's laws, they're inquiring about swallow velocities. The student's response is pure gold—instant surrender with crying emojis and wilted roses. That moment when you realize your entire engineering future is being derailed by obscure British comedy references. The professor clearly has a twisted sense of humor... or maybe they're testing who actually watched the Holy Grail during "educational movie night." Either way, F = ma, but F also equals Failed if you can't calculate medieval ornithological aerodynamics!

Engineering school doesn't build character—it destroys it. Those bright-eyed freshmen with their crisp hard hats and unblemished optimism have no idea what's coming. Four years later? Sleep-deprived zombies who've forgotten what sunlight looks like, surviving on caffeine and desperation. The transformation from "I'm going to build the future!" to "Dear god, just let me graduate" happens somewhere between Thermodynamics and that group project where you did all the work. The only magic at this school is how they turn functioning humans into hollow-eyed husks who can calculate stress tensors in their sleep—if they ever got any.

Behold the absurdity of imperial units! The English system uses "slug" as a unit of mass while the SI system sensibly uses kilograms. The joke is brilliantly illustrated with an actual slug (the gastropod) circled in red—because apparently measuring mass with garden creatures makes PERFECT scientific sense! 🤪 For the uninitiated lab rats among us: a slug is actually 32.2 pounds-mass or about 14.6 kg. It's the amount of mass that accelerates at 1 ft/s² when a force of 1 pound is applied. Why use something logical when you can measure with mollusks instead? *maniacal scientist laughter*

Engineering in a nutshell: expectations vs. reality. On the left, a perfect pink lollipop representing the idealized design. On the right, a grinding bit that vaguely resembles a lollipop—what you actually end up with after budget cuts, material constraints, and that one manager who says "close enough." The gap between theoretical models and fabricated reality is where engineers live their entire careers. Just another day of turning candy dreams into functional nightmares.

This homeowner is operating on a whole different circuit! The gate's decorative metal pattern features actual logic gate symbols from digital electronics - AND, OR, and NOT gates that form the building blocks of computer circuitry. It's the nerdiest home security system ever! Instead of "No Trespassing," this gate basically says "IF (authorized) OR (have appointment) AND (NOT suspicious) THEN (may enter)." The electrical engineer who lives here definitely debugs their doorbell code in their spare time!

These graphs are the most scientifically accurate representation of college majors ever created! Liberal Arts: living the dream until graduation hits like a meteor extinction event. Medicine: suffering through the nine circles of med school hell before finally making enough money to pay off those student loans in your 50s. And Engineering? Just flatline suffering before and after graduation, but hey, at least the paycheck makes the existential dread tolerable! The universal constant across all STEM fields is that brief moment where you question all your life choices and wonder if you should've just opened that beachside coconut stand instead.