Principles For Sale: Competitive Salary

The transformation from bright-eyed optimist to sleep-deprived cynic happens faster than the half-life of radioactive isotopes! Engineering school doesn't just teach you about stress and strain in materials—it demonstrates it on your soul. That cheerful freshman who thought they'd build rockets and robots? Fast forward through endless problem sets, impossible exams, and 3AM design projects fueled by energy drinks, and behold: a hollow-eyed human calculator who can solve differential equations but has forgotten what sunlight looks like. The best part? After graduation, they'll still voluntarily call themselves an engineer. Stockholm syndrome at its scientific finest!

The eternal quest for perpetual motion strikes again! This diagram shows someone's brilliant "hack" for infinite energy: create two portals, drop water through the top one, catch it in the bottom one, and use the endless waterfall to power a wheel generator. Classic thermodynamics violation packaged as galaxy-brain innovation. The reply perfectly demolishes the fantasy by pointing out the obvious energy cost of maintaining interdimensional portals would vastly exceed any hydroelectric output. Physics 101: There's no such thing as a free lunch—especially when you're ordering from the space-time continuum menu. And that final comment? "Then we put two wheels" is peak problem-solving delusion. Sure, why stop at breaking one law of thermodynamics when you can break it twice as efficiently?

Every machinist's nightmare in one image! Trying to cut stainless steel with subpar tooling is like bringing a plastic spoon to a sword fight. Stainless steel's high chromium content creates a work-hardening effect that absolutely destroys cutting tools, leaving machinists staring in horror as their expensive carbide bits disintegrate after a single pass. The look of existential dread on Squidward's face perfectly captures that moment when you hear the telltale squeal of a dying endmill. Pour one out for all the broken drill bits sacrificed to the stainless steel gods!

The eternal struggle between theoretical physics and practical engineering captured in one brutal roast. The physicist spends years contemplating quarks and cosmic heat death while drowning in student debt and existential dread. Meanwhile, the engineer is out there approximating π=3 because "close enough," getting rich, and actually building stuff that works. Nothing says "academia vs. industry" quite like choosing between writing anxiously in pencil or confidently counting squares under a curve because integration is for nerds with too much time on their hands. The true irony? Both think they're better than the other while secretly wondering if they made the right career choice.

Fractional distillation of petroleum: the world's most dangerous buffet menu. "Yes, I'll have the petrol at 70°, sounds refreshing." Meanwhile, only psychopaths would order the asphalt at the bottom. The petroleum industry's version of "the floor is lava" gets more literal the further down you go. Just remember - if your dinner requires a fractioning column to prepare, perhaps reconsider your dietary choices.

Evolution had 3.5 billion years to figure out locomotion, and here's this dude in bed having an existential crisis about wheels! 🤣 The perfect example of that midnight "I'm-so-smart" thought that gets shut down with the relationship equivalent of "Sir, this is a Wendy's." Wheels may be efficient on smooth surfaces, but try rolling up a tree or across a swamp! Nature actually optimized for adaptability over efficiency—legs can climb, jump, swim, and don't need roads. Plus, biological wheels would need some wild rotating joint with blood vessels that somehow... disconnect and reconnect? Talk about engineering nightmare! Meanwhile, his partner is just trying to sleep through another one of his 2AM biology revelations.