Where Do They Get These Names?

Orbital theory: where chemistry students silently nod along while picturing electron clouds as fuzzy blobs with names like "2p" and "3d." It's that special moment in every chemistry class when the professor casually transitions from "here's a simple atom model" to "now let's discuss hybridized molecular orbital theory" and everyone's brain short-circuits. The fear is real—asking questions might expose you as the only one who thinks HOMO and LUMO sound like a comedy duo rather than highest occupied and lowest unoccupied molecular orbitals. Don't worry though, even your professor probably draws them wrong half the time.

Chemistry students everywhere feel this pain! Trying to memorize the entire periodic table is already a Herculean task, but those last 25 elements? Pure nightmare fuel. The superheavy elements like Nihonium, Moscovium, and Tennessine might as well be written in ancient hieroglyphics. And just when you think you've got them down, IUPAC decides to rename the "un-un" elements (previously named with "un" prefixes like Ununpentium) to proper names! It's like studying for a test only to find out the textbook changed overnight. No wonder the pink blob of despair is lurking behind you.

Nobody steals electrons like fluorine! This meme is chemistry gold (or should I say fluorine yellow?). 💛⚗️ Oxygen feels all smug with its electron-stealing ways, but fluorine is the ULTIMATE electron thief of the periodic table! With the highest electronegativity value of 3.98, this element will snatch your electrons faster than you can say "chemical bond." Even oxygen, that notorious electron-grabber, gets its electrons yanked by fluorine. It's basically the chemical equivalent of thinking you're the baddest kid on the playground until the REAL bully shows up. No wonder fluorine compounds are so reactive they can burn through glass and water! Electron theft is no joke in the elemental world!

The meme shows someone holding a bottle labeled "5% Autism in Ether" with the caption about making acetaminophen. This is dark humor playing on the completely unfounded conspiracy theory that vaccines cause autism. In reality, there's no chemical called "autism" and you can't dissolve it in ether. Acetaminophen synthesis requires actual chemical compounds like 4-aminophenol and acetic anhydride. The black gloves and scientific-looking label are giving off serious "I'm doing science but have no idea what I'm talking about" energy. The kind of experiment that would make your lab supervisor sigh deeply before revoking your unsupervised lab privileges.

Hennig Brand, the 17th century alchemist who discovered phosphorus, literally boiled down 1,500 gallons of human urine in his basement trying to make gold. Instead, he got a glowing white substance that burst into flames when exposed to air. Science history's most successful failure. The yellow water in the image perfectly captures what his neighbors probably thought was happening when they saw the glow from his windows at night. Turns out the path to elemental discovery is paved with bodily fluids and questionable life choices.

Remember when chemists used to mouth-pipette concentrated sulfuric acid like it was a refreshing beverage? The 1925 chemist stands there, buff and confident, ready to dissolve their esophagus for science. Meanwhile, modern chemists panic over a drop of extremely dilute acetic acid—basically fancy vinegar—on their glove. Safety standards have evolved from "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" to "please fill out this incident report in triplicate." Progress, I suppose. Though sometimes I miss the days when the lab was less about paperwork and more about seeing how many fingers you'd have left by retirement.